CANDYCANE
Otherwise known as the Covert Assault National Defense Youth Cadre, Air-Naval Echelon. And it’s just what it says on the label; a clandestine American military agency that recruits children to fight hidden wars in the skies every December, just to make sure that Christmas comes to America every year. And that Santa Claus survives the night.
…What? Good Lord, people: NORAD tracks and escorts Santa Claus every year. What, did everyone just assume that this was for fun? It’s not for fun. It’s to keep Saint Nick from being ambushed mid-air by all sorts of Nasty-Gnawers and Bad Witches and Shrieking Goblins and all the rest of the disgusting monstrosities that can bubble up from the depths of the Collective Unconscious. Jung was right about that concept, you know — but if he had truly known about some of the stuff that was really down there, the man would have probably burned all his notes and fled to a monastery. Suffice it to say that the world can get real scary-bad, real quick.