Go carbon-neutral OR THE ALIENS WILL GET YOU.

Ever get the feeling that these people are starting to run out of arguments?

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth’s atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

Note that the people that I’m really sneering at are the people at The Guardian who somewhat tortured what was a moderately innocuous paper on the range of First Contact scenarios into a ZOMG STOP RELEASING CARBON DIOXIDE OR THE ZETA RETICULANS WILL COME AND ANALLY PROBE OUR BRAINS.

No, that isn’t actually a non-sequitur: I have it on excellent authority that the anterior region of the body is indeed where the average Guardian employee keeps his or her cerebral cortex.

(Via @stoo11)