clifford the big red dog

Partially for the below*…

Per the logline, Clifford the Big Red Dog will star Darby Camp (The Christmas Chronicles 1 &) as Emily Elizabeth. As Emily “struggles to fit in at home and at school, she discovers a small red puppy who is destined to become her best friend. When Clifford becomes a gigantic dog and attracts the attention of a genetics company, Emily and her Uncle Casey (Jack Whitehall) have to fight the forces of greed as they go on the run across New York City. Along the way, Clifford affects the lives of everyone around him and teaches Emily and her uncle the true meaning of acceptance and unconditional love.”

One simple phrase: “live-action/CG Hybrid film.” This is… sub-optimal. You see, when it’s all animated it’s no big deal that Emily Elizabeth has A GIGANTIC TWENTY-FIVE FOOT BIG RED DOG because Clifford never actually really breaks anything except as the episode’s plot demands. He doesn’t interact with the world around him permanently; because in animation if you don’t draw it, it doesn’t happen.

But if you put Clifford in the real world, guess what? Suddenly you have A GIGANTIC TWENTY-FIVE FOOT BIG RED DOG running around and breaking the sidewalks (the Internet calculated once that he weighs about as much as a blue whale). Clifford stops being a lovable pet at that point, and starts being an unstoppable kaiju. …Which is, sure, not incompatible with also being a lovable pet, but it still makes things awkward. Continue reading Why the “Clifford: The Big Red Dog” movie will be Nightmare Fuel

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That’s gonna be a hard no on next year’s CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG movie.

Why the “Clifford: The Big Red Dog” movie will be Nightmare Fuel