Sep
20
2015
1

“Why Rock Stars Die Young”?

Really? This is a question? Because the answer, of course, is “Because cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you’re making too much money.” Lots of drugs and limited expectations for social responsibility. That’s how you get that life expectancy down, ya, you betcha…

Jan
21
2015
--

Irish grandmother gets away with cocaine possession at bingo hall.

Ah, the Irish.  Which, might I add, is where my own majestic and superior DNA comes from as well.  So I get to roll my eyes at this, at least:

Helen Heaphy’s number came up at the bingo hall. The prize was a trip to court.

The 50-year-old grandmother pleaded guilty Wednesday to two counts of possessing cocaine for sale or supply after Irish police caught her with the narcotic outside a Cork bingo hall.

It’s not that she got arrested; it’s that the Irish legal system allowed her off with a fine despite her rap sheet.  Hell, they let her back in the bingo hall.  Truly, the ways of my family’s ancestral people must be strange and confusing to the outsider…

Via Drudge.

Oct
18
2014
5

Why Hunter Biden will get away with being thrown out of the Navy for cocaine use.

The more I read about Hunter Biden (VP Joe Biden’s son) cocaine-fueled discharge from the Navy, the more it stinks on ice:

…it is worth noting that, while Biden’s summary discharge occurred last February, it did not become public until the Wall Street Journal revealed the story this week. Biden’s statement about “the honor of my life to serve in the U.S. Navy” — for one month! — was issued through his lawyer.

Evidently there was an effort, successful for eight months, to conceal this curious episode. But while the attempted cover-up is, perhaps, understandable from Vice President Biden’s perspective, the real scandal here is not Hunter Biden’s cocaine use, or his father’s protection of an errant son, but the fact that Hunter Biden was commissioned in the naval reserve in the first place.

Well, it’s a scandal but not a surprise: Vice Presidents, believe it or not, actually have a lot of pull. Even Joe Biden.  Enough to get an unqualified and overaged son a commission, at least; and enough to delay a cocaine scandal. (more…)

Aug
24
2014
3

Rep. John Barrow (D, Georgia-12), monkeys, and cocaine.

There is something arresting about this campaign ad from the NRCC, which indeed draws on everything in the title.

Now, I will not lie to you: nowhere does the ad claim that John Barrow has ever done cocaine with a monkey.  And I will freely admit that the title of my post may cause people to wonder whether John Barrow has ever done cocaine with a monkey.  In fact, I will even cheerfully concede that the truth – that John Barrow ‘merely’ likes to vote to fund stuff* that the government probably shouldn’t be funding until it funds all the other, more important stuff – may feel, ah, somewhat prosaic.  Nonetheless… there’s just something about a minimalist political ad about a woman with a monkey on her shoulder talking about how John Barrow likes to spend taxpayer dollars on programs involving monkeys and cocaine.
(more…)

Jan
27
2014
2

Rep. Trey Radel (R, Florida-19) to resign, and not before time.

That was the freshman caught with cocaine:

Florida Rep. Trey Radel, a first-term Republican congressman who was convicted on cocaine possession charges, will resign from Congress on Monday.

Radel’s future in Congress had been in question following his guilty plea to misdemeanor cocaine possession after being arrested in Washington, D.C. in November, and a subsequent leave of absence from his official duties to attend rehab.

…the seat is not particularly in play.  Anymore. Mind you, if this was 2006 or 2008 I might be privately writing it off; cocaine possession may not be a sex scandal, but it’s not nothing, either.  But FL-19 is R+11 and Democratic recruitment this cycle is nothing to write home about. People should keep an eye on it, but they shouldn’t freak out.

Moe Lane

Jan
05
2010
--

Yes, but do you ring up supermarket cocaine as produce?

You think that you’re having a bad day at work?

Drug smugglers appear to have made a major slip-up, after huge quantities of cocaine were delivered to supermarkets in Spain hidden in boxes of bananas.

Try being a drug distributor who has to explain to his boss why almost two hundred pounds of cocaine is now available on Aisle 5.

Moe Lane

Oct
22
2009
3

Cocaine submarine? Wouldn’t it dissolve in water?

First thought that I had when I saw the article; swear to God.

Officials seize cocaine submarine

Guatemalan and US authorities have seized a makeshift submarine loaded with cocaine with a US street value of $200m (£120m).

The submarine, which had 10 tonnes of cocaine on board, was arrested by the coast guard some 280km (175 miles) off Guatemala’s Pacific coast.

My second thought was that if I was smuggling 200 million dollars worth of anything I’d probably want to avoid using a transport device that could be described as ‘makeshift;’ but then, I’m not a smuggler.

Oct
22
2009
1

‘Comic’ Cross confesses Correspondents’ cocaine [checking thesaurus] caper.

Klavan was right: celebrities live in another strange, sad world. Which would be not entirely intolerable, except that then they feel the need to go and drag normal people into it:

Comedian David Cross brought his stand-up routine to Washington’s Warner Theatre Wednesday night and made a shocking confession (assuming he wasn’t joking…) at the end of his routine: That he snorted cocaine while seated just yards away from President Barack Obama at this year’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner.

Liberal readers will be relieved to know that Cross is not an Obama contributor, although they may want to consider for a moment the implications of them having that automatic thought. His contribution list is very impressive, though: zero for four, and all four were frankly dolts when it came to running for office. I may check on him in 2012 to see who he supports.

Moe Lane

Crossposted to RedState.

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