Australia’s Department of Agriculture has announced that its researchers have made a breakthrough that will send shockwaves across beach resorts and tiki-themed restaurants around the world. Through careful breeding they’ve managed to produce a sweet pineapple that also tastes like coconut, reducing future Pina Colada recipes to just two ingredients.
The next step, of course, is to make the pineapple-coconut sufficiently naturally alcoholic on its own. Because SCIENCE!
‘Coconut,’ for those lucky enough to have missed it up to this point, is a derogatory racial epithet hurled against dark-skinned individuals deemed insufficiently ‘authentic.’ It suggests that the individual in question is ‘brown on the outside, white on the inside.’ When used by someone of the same ethnic identity as the slurred individual, it takes on the additional connotation of ‘race traitor;’ when used by someone of Caucasian ancestry, it typically represents an opportunity to express racial hatreds in a socially acceptable manner. The Other Side has, shall we say, a history of such things; and if we ever have that full and frank discussion of race that’s been promised the first question that I plan to ask is going to be about precisely why this is acceptable behavior among them.
About the only thing mitigating this exercise in public racism is that it appeared on the Joy Behar show, which means that almost nobody saw it anyway.