As per my usual tradition, I will not sing or reproduce the only Columbus song that I know since it is incredibly filthy. It is also one of the sadder days, since while the kids still had school and my wife had off, well, pandemic. I was not able to take my wife out for a genteel breakfast, alas. I do look forward to those.
I’d sing a song, except that all the Columbus Day songs I know are filthy. I mean, REALLY filthy. Anyway, it’s a lovely day to have a situation where my wife has off for a federal holiday while my children still go to school. I believe some sort of genteel lunch will likely end up being on the agenda.
It is a glorious holiday: my wife has the day off, and the kids do not. This is infinitely preferable to the alternative, and there are rather more examples of the alternative, so we’re keeping this one, thanks. Celebratory brunch awaits!
It’s very, very simple:
- Federal employees have today off.
- Their children do not*.
Continue reading Why Columbus Day will STAY a federal holiday for a while yet.
I’d sing about it – no, I haven’t forgotten that earlier promises – but the only Columbus Day song I know is so filthy that if I were to sing it it’d kill household pets out to 100 meters.
Yes. It’s so foul that it’s metric.
I would commemorate it with a song, but the only song that I know about Christopher Columbus is so incredibly filthy that I am risking my reputation slightly by even admitting that I know that the aforementioned song even exists, let alone has lyrics that I may or may not have some passing familiarity with.
So, there’s that.
PS: On the bright side: it’s a holiday where the kids have to go to school but the adults have a reasonable chance to avoid having to go to work.
PPS: I am exceptionally happy not to be an illiterate barley* farmer in Ireland, by the way. So there’s that, as well.
*Potatoes are a New World crop.
Yes, yes, yes: we’re supposed to be subtly embarrassed of this holiday, given that apparently it’s an act of global insensitivity to remember the date, or because there’s a whole subset of the grievance culture out there who grind their teeth, turn widdershins thrice, and spit at the very mention of the name ‘Christopher Columbus,*’ or even because it’s starting to look like everybody in the world ‘discovered’ America before Christopher Columbus did.
OK, that last one? Kind of a fair point. Still, speaking as somebody with most of his teeth at forty, no dietary deficiencies, and two kids that survived their first six months – which would not have happened if I had been born an illiterate turnip** farmer in Ireland, which is where I’d be if there hadn’t been an America for my ancestors to flee to – let me just say that I am not exactly broken up about the thought that In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two / Columbus Sailed The Ocean Blue. And probably, neither should you. Ever try living on turnips? I’m pretty sure that trying to get away from pre-potato, pre-maize, pre-chocolate, and pre-tomato cooking was what fueled the European Age of Exploration…
Moe Lane (crosspost)
Continue reading Happy Columbus Day!
…because that’s mostly what I’ve been doing today. On the other hand, now I have a chair that doesn’t creak alarmingly if you look at it oddly.
To completely change the subject*, there’s this:
n September, a judge in Stuart, Fla., was about to sentence pastor Rodney McGill for real estate fraud, but McGill was undaunted, addressing a courtroom prayer for his enemies: “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, for every witness called against me, I pray cancer in their lives, lupus, brain tumor, pancreatic cancer.” The judge then sentenced him to 20 years in prison.
(Background here) Yeah. Ask the Guy who made His reputation by raising people from the dead to go around revenge-Smiting people. That’s going to go over really well at the Pearly Gates.
*It wasn’t a complete subject change, originally – but this was more interesting than the people living in the Las Vegas flood tunnels.