Oh, sure, they’re calling calling it “Five figures on the left who could challenge Hillary Clinton,” but let’s face it: Democrats who aren’t on the Left these days are rare, and probably dying of old age. And since Hillary is pretty solid Left herself – socialized medicine is not even remotely conservative – the alternatives are pretty darn Left as well. Below is the Hill’s list, with my sardonic commentary attached:
- Hillary Clinton. Pros: Bill Clinton. Cons: Bill Clinton. Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama.
- Elizabeth Warren. Pros: Can make a plausible case that Barack Obama hates her. Cons: Ever see what happens when a Massachusetts liberal runs for President? It ain’t pretty.
- Joe Biden. Pros: He’s the only person on this list that has anything like a personality. Cons: He’s the only person on this list who can’t run against – or away from – Barack Obama’s legacy. Plus, you know, Joe Biden.
- Martin O’Malley. Pros: Hey! He’s a sitting governor. Cons: …I don’t find him interesting enough to be worth despising. Nobody does. That pretty much includes Maryland Democrats, the average one of whom will readily admit after his or her third drink that the man has the charisma of an empty soda bottle.
- Bernie Sanders. Pros: He’s as close to a Commie as you can get in this country and still be elected to anything. Cons: He’s as close to a Commie as you can get in this country and still be elected to anything.
- Russ Feingold. Pros: Of everybody on this list, he’s the only one who hasn’t been burned by Barack Obama’s policies, activities, feuds with Congress, or simple guilt-by-association. Cons: Russ Feingold hasn’t held office since 2010, and has been avoiding running for anything since then. And the Democrats badly wanted Feingold to run for Governor of Wisconsin.