Tweet of the Day, It’s Florida Men All The Way Down edition.

(H/T: Instapundit) I understand that the ‘Florida Man’ meme is unfair. The state does full-disclosure on crimes, so reporters know there’s a well of crazy stuff there to mine.

And yet.

So. Assuming that this story is correct, Florida highway interactions can start with bumping cars on the highway, speeding up, slowing down, brandishing a firearm, having someone respond by firing a gun through his own windshield, and then having the gunman call the cops himself to report in the incident as a warning to future highway wrongdoers. But that’s not what fascinates me.

This fascinates me.

Continue reading Tweet of the Day, It’s Florida Men All The Way Down edition.

Florida Man keeps giving inert grenades to Goodwill.

Any other state, I’d be wondering if this is domestic terrorism. But, well, Florida. When they finally find the guy who keeps dropping these off, dollars to donuts he’s gonna be legitimately shocked at the news that he’s in trouble.

For the second time in a year, a grenade landed — but did not detonate — at a Goodwill store in Port St. Lucie, police said. 


Officers evacuated the store for 90 minutes. A bomb squad technician determined the grenade was inert. 

A similar scene played out at another Goodwill store in the 1600 block of Southwest St. Lucie West Boulevard on July 27. 

Via Facebook.
Continue reading Florida Man keeps giving inert grenades to Goodwill.

Ha! I beat @_FloridaMan!

…I got three out of five.

The $1000 question was one of those embarrassing ones, though: I completely guessed that one wrong, and felt ashamed when I heard the answer. Because, duh.  Of course. I should have known it.  Watch the video, and you’ll see what I mean.

Tweet of the Day, This Story Doesn’t Pass @_FloridaMan’s BS Detector edition.

That’s devastating. And embarrassing for everybody who reprinted the alleged story about the guy who accidentally married his own granddaughter.  Then again, Florida Man is wise in the ways that his homeland typically warps the space-time-good-taste continuum…

Florida Man representing Corey Lewandowski is… Florida Man.

I’m with the Asian woman behind Corey Lewandowski (who has been arrested for misdemeanor battery). Like her, I can’t help but feel that this isn’t what I ordered, either. I was promised something different than this, dammit.

What’s that? It’s not quite Florida Man territory yet? …Well, the lawyer (Kendall Coffey) in question was an US Attorney at the time who then went on to be one of the lawyers in Bush v. Gore. For the Democrats.

Yeah. Now it’s Florida Man.

@_FloridaMan versus Judge Throw-Down!

This Florida Man tweet does not oversell.

…it truly does not. You can’t see it – it happened behind closed doors – but you can hear it.

That Twitter account is almost a national goram resource.

I am in awe of this Tweet.

It’s brilliant.

Mostly because it’s so ambiguous.  Did Florida Man get arrested after the aforementioned ball scratching?  Did he get electrocuted?  Did somebody run him over while carrying a battery?  Any one of those three makes sense, in the context of Florida Man – and any one of those would be awesome, in the very special anoxia-ridden way that is the hallmark of Florida Man.

If you do not follow Florida Man on Twitter, you are missing out.  Because they’re all like this.

Moe Lane

PS: Yes, I know what actually happened, because I clicked the link.  But it was the moment of pregnant possibility that appealed.