I got nothing that beats this.
Florida Man Lies Bleeding on Floor After Being Shot By Ex-Lover, Takes Selfie | http://t.co/ywGvuAlny9
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) October 21, 2014
This Florida Man tweet does not oversell.
Judge Takes Break During Hearing to Fight Florida Man | http://t.co/QEMDGqtGBL
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) June 3, 2014
…it truly does not. You can’t see it – it happened behind closed doors – but you can hear it.
That Twitter account is almost a national goram resource.
Florida Man Charged With Battery After Argument Over Ball Scratching | sun-sentinel.com/news/strange/f…
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) February 20, 2013
Mostly because it’s so ambiguous. Did Florida Man get arrested after the aforementioned ball scratching? Did he get electrocuted? Did somebody run him over while carrying a battery? Any one of those three makes sense, in the context of Florida Man – and any one of those would be awesome, in the very special anoxia-ridden way that is the hallmark of Florida Man.
If you do not follow Florida Man on Twitter, you are missing out. Because they’re all like this.
PS: Yes, I know what actually happened, because I clicked the link. But it was the moment of pregnant possibility that appealed.