Jun
05
2010
2

#rsrh Depressing World Cup statistical news.

From Rasmussen:

A new Rasmussen Reports nationwide telephone survey finds that 66% of Adults correctly identify soccer, or football as it’s known outside the United States, as the sport played in the World Cup competition. However, three percent (3%) say it’s all about baseball, and one percent (1%) each think the international teams will be playing tennis, hockey or golf. Twenty-eight percent (28%) are not sure what sport will be played.

66% is far too high – and we really need to get that percentage of the population who think that it’s a golf competition up. It’s absolutely critical for our long-term national security needs; the more people in this country who don’t have a clue what the World Cup is, the fewer people who will get upset when we get our rears kicked by countries like Costa Rica or Ghana.  Dammit, just because it’s a slightly absurd geopolitical safety valve doesn’t mean that it’s not a real one…

Jun
28
2009
--

Apparently, the USA is ahead in its soccer game with Brazil. [UPDATED]

[UPDATE] Crisis averted. Whew!

By two points or dots, or whatever the terminology would be. This is unfortunate, not to mention a violation of the secret provisions of several international treaties: the sport of soccer exists of course for the sole purpose of giving the rest of the world something to feel superior to when it comes to the United States. Beating Brazil at the Worl…

What do you mean, the “Confederation Cup”? They have other competitions besides the World Cup? And we’re stuck with going to them? Who ordered that?

…anyway, obviously this is dangerously close to being a problem at the level of ‘diplomatic incident’ – so I apologize in advance if we win.

Moe Lane

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