Hi, let me fill you with anguish (Book of the Week, only it can never be).

There is a book called “The Stone Table.” It was written by a fellow called Francis Spufford. It is, as far as I can tell, spot-on in its emulation of the tone of the Chronicles of Narnia.

AND THERE IS NO WAY FOR ME TO GET A COPY. Only 75 exist (privately bound, I wager, and absolutely not offered for commercial sale). I don’t even know who to suck up to. This is torture.