Headless chicken massacre in Alaska!

(Via AoSHQ Headlines) How does one top a headline like this?

Police in Alaska puzzled by 26 headless chickens

Answer: through the careful dispersal of details.

  • “…the fly-infested carcasses found Monday were arranged in a 12- to 15-foot-long line pattern that ended in a circle.”
  • “Three chickens were left unharmed…”
  • “The birds were unsuitable for eating…”

OK, it’s that last one that actually gives the original crime a run for its money in the ‘creepy weird’ race.  There’s just something about the implication that if the police had only gotten there more quickly this investigation would have ended with an impromptu barbecue…