Moe Lane

Video #HAN-083000-17-HI-G23 – Google Docs

Video #HAN-083000-17-HI-G23

This video record will appear in whichever format is most convenient for the campaign, except as something streamable; there are various government restrictions against reproducing Video #HAN-083000-17-HI-G23 (hereafter just called ‘the Video’) in a manner that would make it easy for it to be released on the Internet.  It could be done, of course. It’s just that somebody would have to work at it, and then most likely go to federal prison for ten years. It’s happened at least once.

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Molotok – Google Docs

Molotok

This aluminum and glass gavel was constructed in 1862 by the House of Faberge at the behest of Czar Alexander II.  As far as anybody can tell, Molotok was not imbued with any sort of supernatural or esoteric power; it was meant as a highly expensive gimcrack commemorating the Czar’s program of judicial reform, and it largely languished in obscurity for the next sixty years. It certainly did not have a True Name until the Russian Revolution.

However, Molotok did start generating significant occult power (and its Name) during the Bolshevik takeover, starting with the judge who used it to pulverize a Communist assassination squad sent to purge him and his family.  That judge went on to wield Molotok throughout the entire Russian Civil War, to admittedly great personal effect (use of it eventually got himself and his family out of Vladivostok and into Japan, back in 1922); but its ability to do tremendous amounts of kinetic damage to Communist-aligned villains could not turn the course of the war. Molotok is strictly a tactical weapon.

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Sword #89-5050 – Google Docs

Sword #89-5050

Description: a serviceable Chinese straight sword (jian), made of decent-quality steel from the the Seventh Century AD.  The hilt is made out of wire-wrapped wood, with steel forward pointing wings in the shape of batlike wings, and sports a jade pommel (different in style than the rest of the sword).  The scabbard is lacquered wood over, of all things, asbestos fibers. The overall color scheme is of gold and black. (more…)

Kanaalmunten – Google Docs

Kanaalmunten

Despite the name, Kanaalmunten (literally, “canal coins”) can come from any recognized body of water: canals, rivers, ponds, bays, streams, oceans… even an abandoned swimming pool, if the conditions are right.  Said conditions are: somebody has to accidentally lose a metal coin in the water, and the coin has to remain there undisturbed for at least a year and a day. When that happens, the coin becomes a Kanaalmunten.

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Gloop – Google Docs

Gloop

Gloop comes in 20 ounce plastic bottles, typically in sets of six.  The labels on the bottles are singularly unhelpful: the only information on them is the name (“Gloop”) in a large boring font, and the phrase “Refrigerate after opening” in English, Spanish, and Mandarin in a somewhat smaller, yet still boring, font.  When opened, Gloop appears to be a somewhat thick carbonated beverage, with a slightly musky smell and a smoky taste. It tastes good, but it absolutely does not taste sweet. Once opened, Gloop goes bad after about a week if refrigerated, two days if not.

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Doit – Google Docs

Doit

Description: a one-handed hatchet of exotic metals and woods, exceptionally sharp and corrosion-resistant. The artifact takes its name from the “DOIT” inscribed on its head; esoteric examination of the item reveals that this is Doit’s True Name.  Doit is throwable, and smells not unpleasantly of sun-baked steel and leather. Doit does normal damage for an axe of its type, with one exception: he doesn’t fumble or glance.

Technically, Doit is a weapon possessed by a death-spirit with telepathic abilities and an uncritical willingness to solve problems by splitting their skulls with an axe. This has to be conceded.  It also has to be conceded that those who wield Doit must soon grow accustomed to his (Doit is definitely a ‘he’) polite, but inexorable commentary on the joys of chopping away one’s troubles. The axe never completely shuts about it, honestly.

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Nixiade – Google Docs

Nixiade

Yes, unfortunately, it’s made from nixies.  Living nixies, too — and, rest assured, the nixies did not volunteer to be converted into a tasty, calorie-free, carbonated ‘health’ drink that promises ‘all of the sweetness, none of the guilt!’ Blind taste testing suggests that the second half of that slogan is inaccurate; consumers who were then told that their zero-calorie taste sensation was actually the homogenized corpse of a sapient being who had had been fed into the hopper while still alive and screaming universally tended to feel rather guilty indeed for enjoying Nixiade. It was remarkable, really, how universal the revulsion was. Humanity: every now and then, they pleasantly surprise you.

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Fireball Vodka – Google Docs

Fireball Vodka

Fireball Vodka is complicated.  It’s vodka! That’s magically infused with a standard Fireball spell! But at the same time, you can drink it!  And people do! It is, in fact, all the rage at the most ostentatious parties, precisely because you can drink it. It’s ludicrously expensive to make, but when you have the money to burn, that just makes it trendy.

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To Wear The Rose Lightly – Google Docs

To Wear The Rose Lightly

Description: A dramatic play, in three acts.  The plot is relatively straightforward: the protagonist (Randall Lee) is an unhappily-married businessman who begins a doomed affair with a soldier half his age (Octavia Adams) after he meets her at a party hosted by his rival Arthur Wolfe. Naturally, Arthur himself is having an affair with Randall’s wife Elizabeth, and it takes about three acts for everybody to end up being miserable, alone, and ready to start the whole thing over, with different people. The play draws very deeply on  flower-based symbolism; roses in particular are used as visual shorthand of love. Randall is told by Octavia in the final scene (as she is about to ship off again to a carefully-undefined ‘war zone’) that he ‘wears the rose lightly;’ i.e., that he refuses to do anything to sustain the love that he demands from others, and it ends with him holding the rose after she leaves — then dropping it, casually, as the lights fade.

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Hellcracker – Google Docs

Hellcracker

Description: imagine a jackhammer.  Now rotate it up 90 degrees and give it a sling so that it can be carried and wielded horizontally.  Recast the entire thing in titanium and tungsten and make the drill bit out of industrial diamond; all the wiring is made out of gold, and every surface has been coated with inconel. And that’s just the mundane features; Hellcracker is not covered with every charm, holy symbol and prayer known to man, but it has a hefty percentage of the ones that are generally conceded to actually work.

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