Mar
17
2018
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Item Seed: Sunlight Jerky.

Sunlight Jerky – Google Docs

Sunlight Jerky

 

How do you go about turning sunlight into jerky? Well, first off you have to be really bright.  Sorry: that’s a Gnomish joke.

 

Truthfully, the stuff isn’t really sunlight itself; it’s a particular kind of dried meat from a particular kind of mountain squirrel that, when cut very finely with a particular sort of Gnomish knife during a particular sort of folk-magic ritual, can mystically absorb sunlight and retain it through the marinade and drying process.  If you do it right, the stuff has a faint yellow glow in darkness, which is one way to tell if you have ‘real’ Sunlight Jerky. The other way, of course, is to feed some to a vampire, and see if he explodes.  

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Mar
10
2018
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item Seed: Raj Apples.

Raj Apples – Google Docs

Raj Apples

 

These apples would be easily mistaken for the Rajka apples currently grown in the Czech Republic, but they’re not, because Raj apples are very, very rare.  This variety of apples is grown in one orchard at one obscure farm outside of Libochovice.  And they are absolutely not for sale.

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Mar
09
2018
2

Item Seed: Ovlit.

Ovlit – Google Docs

 

Ovlit

 

Well, that’s the name inscribed along one side of this titanium club; it’s presumably is a corruption of “UV LED.”  This is a rather specific presumption, but then, there are numerous inset LEDs in the head of said club, and they emit ultraviolet light when Ovlit hits something.  It’s a reasonable guess to make.

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Written by in: RPGS | Tags: , , ,
Mar
08
2018
2

Item Seed: The Rockville Mosaic.

Rockville Mosaic – Google Docs

The Rockville Mosaic

 

This mosaic was recently found on a basement wall of the Red Brick Courthouse in Rockville, Maryland. It was discovered by accident about three weeks ago; a state employee looking for a file noticed the edges of it peeking out from behind a set of filing cabinets and an unused portable chalkboard.   The mosaic is reproduced below: judging from the materials and general style, it appears to have been made some time in the 1890s (which would be consistent with the history of the Red Brick Courthouse).

Congratulations: it’s your first paranormal relic!  Don’t worry, these things pop in and out from other dimensions all the time.  Probably the Red Brick Courthouse in our universe got quantumly tangled with a close analogue several universes over; they’re probably wondering over there in the other universe where their mosaic got to (it’s made out of gold inlay and gemstones, so one would hope that they’re wondering).

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Mar
06
2018
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Item Seed: The Blue Stuff.

Blue Stuff – Google Docs

The Blue Stuff

 

People call it “the Blue Stuff” because the terms that could actually define it properly are flagged keywords for every intelligence-gathering agency from the NSA to the Boy Scouts.  Physically, it looks like a blue liquid goop: it flows somewhat turgidly when poured, but it doesn’t clump or lump up, either. It can be used in a hypodermic needle, too.

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Mar
03
2018
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Item Seed: The Breasted Lexicon.

No jokes, please: that was the guy’s name, OK?

Breasted Lexicon – Google Docs

The Breasted Lexicon

 

Upon first look, this set of three standard sized, spiral bound notebooks seems utterly mundane.  The notebooks are filled with hand drawn Egyptian hieroglyphics and their English translations; at two words per page, there are twelve hundred of the most common ancient Egyptian words (arranged alphabetically by English translation), featuring the etymology of the word over time.  The text is clearly from one hand; neat, precise, using standard ballpoint ink (the pen was clearly replaced several times during the transcription), and making few mistakes.  No signature or name is associated with the handwriting, and there is surprisingly little in the way of marginalia, or even wear.

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Feb
27
2018
1

Item Seed: Private Gazetteer of JJ and JW Abert.

Private Gazetteer of JJ and JW Abert – Google Docs

Private Gazetteer of JJ and JW Abert

(US Topographical Corps)

 

This set of six very fat notebooks and journals is essentially the esoteric explorer’s equivalent of El Dorado — a description of which can be found in volume 3, pages 56-59.  Lt. James Abert rather liked it; lovely climate and excellent cuisine.  They even had coffee, which had been blessedly brought in by a previous explorer a century before. One of his better places to have a visit, all in all.

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Feb
26
2018
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Item Seed: The Edelweiss Grimoire.

Edelweiss Grimoire – Google Docs

The Edelweiss Grimoire

 

It usually bemuses beginning alchemists when they come to this ‘textbook’ in class: after all, it’s simply a DVD with The Sound of Music on it.  This bemusement typically lasts only until they sit down and actually watch it — as in, with their esoteric ears on.  The songs are the important thing; once you decipher and memorize the code keys found in “Do-Re-Me,” you quickly realize that the words and music are actually clever formularies for various alchemical processes:

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Feb
25
2018
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Item Seed: Vallandigham’s Needles.

Vallandigham’s Needles – Google Docs

Vallandigham’s Needles

 

These nine short bone needles were reportedly carved (presumably post-mortem) from the vertebrae of Clement Vallandigham, possibly the most notorious of the American Civil War pro-Confederate Copperheads.  They are about three inches long each, smell somewhat unpleasantly musty, and are remarkably difficult if not impossible to break.  The end of each Vallandigham Needle has a hole, suitable for inserting a tuft of feathers or other stabilizer in flight.

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Feb
24
2018
1

Item seed: The Laser Sword Briefcase.

Laser Sword Briefcase – Google Docs

 

The Laser Sword Briefcase

 

Everybody wants a laser sword.  For forty years, since that movie came out, the call has been incessant: provide the Conspiracy with laser swords.  At first it was gussied up as a request for ‘power knives’ with short, but variable blades that could be used to cut through locks and hinges and whatnot — and, admittedly, that would be useful.  But what people really wanted were katanas made out of energy.  

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