I do wonder if I’ve ever made this joke before.
Kore-Cola
Made with real pomegranates! And birch! And chervil! And a bunch of other herbs traditionally associated with death and the afterlife! Not that they really mention those herbs on the label, and honestly: pomegranate is the important ingredient. These particular pomegranates are from the orchard that Persephone planted in order to have a supply of seeds that would take her back to the underworld — what’s that? Yes, well, suffice it to say that the Greek myths kind of got a few minor details wrong. Like the fact that Persephone and her mother actually invaded Hades’ domain (in fairness, he deserved it), and that Persephone and Hades were both being very much Greek deities about the situation. Which is to say: rude, entitled, mercurially violent, and utterly incapable of staying out of each other’s beds. As usual.