This Middle Earth: Shadow of War… wait. No. Please stop.

That’s not how this works, Middle Earth: Shadow of War.

That’s not how any of this works.

I mean, did they read the books? …They didn’t read the books, did they.  Also: now we know that people really can’t come back from the grave, because if they could JRR Tolkien would have over this.  With CS Lewis.  And a Sherman tank.