Mar
12
2019
1

Monster Seed: Zllort.

Zllort

You can only hear about Zllort in the special chat forums: the ones where you interact by landline-calling up an empty room with a computer already at the page, a speaker, and a speech-to-text function.  You recite your comment, let it auto-propagate into the chat, and then read the responses off of a dedicated webcam. Whether this is all frighteningly paranoid, or even more frighteningly not paranoid enough, is left as an exercise for the interested student; but it’s apparently enough to avoid the specialized and very lethal attention of Zllort.

(more…)

Oct
29
2018
2

Monster Seed: Volpeus.

Volpeus – Google Docs

Volpeus

 

Volpeus is old, even for an animal spirit.  It is old, it is crafty, and it utterly loathes humanity (the spirit has nurtured a grudge against Man for thousands of years).  It is difficult for mundane authorities to understand just how much bleak hatred Volpeus has in its heart for humans: this hatred has in fact ground away many other parts of both Volpeus’s personality, and its memories.  The spirit itself no longer even remembers the origins of its hatred for humanity — and it no longer cares that it has forgotten, either.

(more…)




Oct
12
2016
2

Monster seed: Supplanters.

Been working on this most of the afternoon.

Supplanters

You think I’m going to help you? You think that I want you to cut it out of me?  Go to Hell. People like you threw me into the gutter; it’s the only thing that’s ever tried to put me back up on my feet. I’ll hurt you before I let you take it away.  And then you’ll go to jail, because monsters aren’t real. Or, maybe you’ll go to the hospital, because you’ll be the one who sounds crazy now.  Let’s see how you’ll handle it.

Supplanters are the dangerous kind of monsters: that is, they are clever, patient, and strong-willed.  Like all of their kind, they have an overpowering need to manifest in our plane of existence – but they think in longer terms than virtually any other sort of monster out there, and they know how to plot.  And Supplanters know how to enlist the help of their prey.

(more…)




Oct
11
2016
2

Monster Seed: Sludge Shoggoths.

Sludge Shoggoths

Well, they’re not exactly ‘shoggoths.’  Probably. One hopes.  They’re… not exactly harmless, but they’re… manageable.  And – horribly enough – valuable, too.

In its ‘natural’ aquatic form Sludge Shoggoth resembles about five hundred pounds’ worth of various gunk and garbage that will suddenly surround and consume you if you get too close.  That’s problematic, although somebody with a sharp enough knife can usually cut himself loose before he suffocates.  Sludge Shoggoths are also vulnerable to electricity, but not fire: killing one will cause the ‘body’ to dissolve back into the water.  Curiously, they have virtually no smell at all.   (more…)




Jul
16
2016
--

Monster seed: Chameleon Sculpture Pythons.

Blame this.

Chameleon Sculpture-Pythons

So, do you know what happens when you activate a portable dimensional gate generator with a leaky containment matrix?  That’s right: nothing, usually.  Unless you have the bad luck to have a fuse blow while the gate is active, because you were an idiot who wasn’t doing all the other standard maintenance on your portable dimensional gate generator, too.  It that happens, well, you get a semi-permanent untuned gate for about ten seconds or so. A loud, attractive untuned gate.  Sometimes Things From Outside come to investigate. (more…)




Aug
19
2013
1

@slate publishes article by notorious infanticide advocate Peter Singer.

There are those that will call that ‘poisoning the well,’ as Peter Singer was saying stupid things about defunding the coal industry instead of vile things about how parents should be permitted to kill their babies. To which I say: fine. I’m not making a logical argument*. I’m highlighting the fact that Slate published a monster. I’m sure that the website feels that it can easily weather my disapproval of their editorial process.

Moe Lane

PS: link via here. I decline to directly link to monsters if I can help it.

*I know that this will shock some people, but logic is not actually the game-ender that the Internet collectively seems to think that it is.  I know, I know: even to write that out feels more than a little transgressive (I am, after all, an Internet denizen). But it remains true nonetheless.




Site by Neil Stevens | Theme by TheBuckmaker.com