Moe Lane

Why  Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan?  Easy: because we’re all laughing at the superior intellect right now.

Also, the movie rocks.

And so, so long to The Avengers.

Two reasons: first, The Avengers is coming out tomorrow on DVD.

Second: Shawarma.

And so, so long to The Secret of Kells. It had a good run.

Moe Lane

I saw The Secret of Kells a couple of weeks ago, over at my mom’s. She absolutely insisted that it was worth my time, and it was; my only quibble is that the message of ‘the only way to deal with a Viking horde is to run away’ would come as a bit of a surprise to, say, Brian Boru*.

And so, farewell to Trainspotting. Which was a very good, yet very messed up, film.

Moe Lane

*Unless, of course, you believe the scurrilous arguments to the contrary – ones made no doubt a vicious cabal of English and Scandinavian spalpeens jealous of Boru and his way of killing any random screaming Viking that himself happened to see hove into view – but I’m sure that none of you would be along of shaming yourself by repeating such obvious lies.

Trainspotting came up in conversation today for some reason, and I’ve always thought that they should show this film in health class*, so here you go.

And so, adieu to Cars. Ka-chow!

Moe Lane

*Well, after watching it I at least personally decided that I was never, ever, ever going to even think about doing heroin.  I couldn’t have been the only person with that reaction.

dear god please make it stop my eldest has watched cars forty times now its his favorite movie please god please god i hear it in my sleep now it whispers to me it whispers to me where are the humans WHERE ARE THE HUMANS my god its some weird experiment in zone mexico city from gurps reign of steel isnt it it all makes sense now it all makes sense

goodbye dr strangelove or how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb goodbye

More accurately: Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. For some reason, I’m finding it necessary to use the full title on this.

And so, adieu to The Right Stuff. I’d come up with something cute, but it’s been a long day. Sorry.

As God is my witness, I have no idea how I missed making The Right Stuff Movie of the Week.  I’m still not entirely certain that I did miss it; I didn’t see it, but that doesn’t mean anything.  Ach, well, even if I did it’s so good it should be on the list twice.

And so, farewell to Captain America: The First Avenger.  Which was also so good it should be on the list twice (ask me again in a year whether I still think so, of course).

I loved Captain America: The First Avenger when it came out, particularly for this exchange:

Red Skull: What makes you so special?
Captain America: Nothing. I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.

Heh.  So was I, Steve.  So was I.  It’s coming out tomorrow: can’t wait.

And so, adieu to X-Men: First Class.  Which I also quite liked, for different reasons.

Moe Lane

I did in fact like X-Men: First Class: it was honestly made, had good actors in it, and didn’t suffer from being a prequel where you know how it’s all going to turn out in the end.  All in all, not as awesome as Captain America, but then that’s kind of unfair.  It’s coming out next week; I look forward to watching it again.

And so, adieu to Them! Which was also honestly made and had good actors in it.  Plus, well, Them! (more…)

Normally I would  try to explain why I picked Them!, but in this case Cracked.com already has (in “11 Bad-Good Horror Movies You Need To See”):

WHY IT’S BAD
It’s an old black-and-white movie about giant irradiated ants attacking southwestern American cities.

WHY IT’S GOOD
It’s an old black-and-white movie about giant irradiated ants attacking southwestern American cities.

WHY YOU NEED TO SEE IT
It’s an old black-and-white movie about giant irradiated ants attacking southwestern American cities.

Works for me.

Annnnnd adieu, Going Postal . But soon you will be mine. Soon.

Going Postal is, of course, the movie version of the Terry Pratchett Discworld novel of the same name; and, of course, the British have had it forever before they deigned to share it with us.  I’d make a rude comment, but I don’t dare do that until I have a copy in my grubby little hands.

Hey, there are some things I can’t fight.  Or don’t dare to.

Rubber baby buggie bumpers, Last Action Hero.

Moe Lane (more…)

If you’re wondering why I picked The Last Action Hero, given that the star (Arnold Schwarzenegger) of it has recently been revealed to have fathered a child out of wedlock over a decade ago (and hiding it from his wife for that amount of time), it’s simple: the character (Jack Slater) played by Schwarzenegger had an opportunity to confront his… English doesn’t really have a perfect word for it.  Not ‘creator;’ not exactly ‘interpreter,’ either.  Anyway, Slater wasn’t happy to meet the guy that was kind of responsible for Slater having to live in an action movie universe:

I do not like you. You have only brought me pain.

And, honestly?  Turns out that when Schwarzenegger was playing himself as a self-centered, ultimately hollow man… he wasn’t acting.  In other words, this movie has been improved, thanks to recent developments.  Hard to imagine, but htere you go.

And so, adieu to Monsters.

Moe Lane