Moe Lane

Sure, it comes out next week (on International Talk Like A Pirate Day, by the powers!), but if you’re going to use Wonder Woman as a quick-and-easy Christmas present for your nieces or whatnot you might as well order it through this site.  Besides, it was a good movie.  And a good superhero flick, which is not exactly the same thing.

And so, adieu to Kong: Skull Island.

Hmm.

…Hey! (more…)

I’m sorry, but I liked Kong: Skull Island. I was very straightforward in my desires: I wanted to see a giant ape on the big screen, and they gave me a giant ape. This movie comes out next week on DVD, and I’m debating getting it.  I’ll want to be up to date before the next Monsterverse flick comes out, after all.

And so, adieu to Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated.

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Look, Season One and Season Two of Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated was just excellent television. I wouldn’t have believed it if you had told me beforehand, but it was and I’m grateful my children decided to watch it over and over and over again. After a while, the adults in the house would watch it even if the kids weren’t. So there’s that.

And so, adieu to Universal Monsters: the Essential Collection.

I get the impression that Universal Monsters: The Essential Collection is going to be what Universal draws from for their Dark Universe franchise (plus, of course, Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde). That second link indicates that The Bride of Frankenstein is next up, and that something involving The Invisible Man is definitely on the calendar.  Assuming that the Mummy doesn’t crash and burn, of course.

Anyway, I should ask for this collection for Christmas.

Since the new Mummy is coming out pretty soon, time to put up the one from 1999.  I am very fond of this movie. Why? Not least, because of this scene.

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Why The Blob? Because I looked up the original, only to have it…

:puts on sunglasses:

…suck me in.

And so, adieu to Miracle. (more…)

…How the heck did I manage to not do Miracle before this? Today, of course, is the anniversary of a day that was an absolutely needed shot in the arm for the United States of America.

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I’d call this feature something else, except that I’m pretty much locked into it at this point. Anyway: Arrival is coming out on DVD in two weeks, and if you missed it the first time then you should correct that.  This is the kind of science fiction flick that will infuriate you about Hollywood, because they can clearly make movies like this, but won’t. And there’s no excuse. It was a hit. It racked up a bunch of Oscar nominations, including some of the ones that the studios most like to brag about. I am an unrepentant blow-em-up, popcorn-movie guy, and I raved about Arrival.  And now Hollywood will go back to making stupid (in both senses of the word) movies that nobody likes, because God forbid they should challenge their audi… sorry. I’ll stop ranting, now.

Arrival. Awesome flick. Go pre-order it.

And so, adieu to Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
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Captain America: The Winter Soldier is one of those flicks that definitely grew on me, although my major problem with it still stands: you just can’t drive a car through Dizzy City that quickly.  You simply cannot.  There’s almost a law against it.

And so, adieu to Dark Dungeons.

Moe Lane

PS: I actually read the hostage ship bit to my youngest today as a bedtime story. This amuses me.

Dark Dungeons is, of course, the resolutely straight-faced-or-possibly-actually-deadpan adaptation of the legendary anti D&D tract drawn and written by the late Jack Chick.  That link goes to the Amazon Prime version, which means that none of you can actually buy it there (I assume that all of my readers have Amazon Prime); but what the heck. It’s fascinating watching, especially when you try to figure out how the director got the project greenlighted*.

And so, adieu to John Carter. (more…)

John Carter was a good movie, dagnabbit. I read the Barsoom books, double dagnabbit. They were not insulted by this film! ERB would have loved every second of it.

…Sorry. It still grates.

And so, adieu to Deadpool.  Just over a decade before the kids are off to college, so I can have it in the house!

Said caveat being Keep Deadpool out of the reach of children.  And by ‘children’ I really do mean ‘under the age of 18*.’  I’m still trying to figure out how to watch it again myself.  Possibly by buying a copy for the convention and watching it in my hotel room, or something.

…Yeah, that looked stupid when I wrote it, too.

Anyway: adieu to Zootopia.

*Sure, your kid can handle it.  I’m putting up the CYA disclaimer anyway.  Don’t let kids watch this film.