nascar – Moe Lane

NASCAR driver accuses ex-girlfriend of being international assassin. Like you do.

It’s not that I think that this is true:

[F]ormer NASCAR Sprint Cup champion [Kurt Busch], 36, said that [ex-girlfriend Patricia] Driscoll “is a trained assassin dispatched on covert missions around the world,” The Associated Press reports. The news agency adds: “Busch said Driscoll repeatedly asserted her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central and South America and Africa.”

“Everybody on the outside can tell me I’m crazy, but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand,” Busch said.

…it’s just that I’m blessed if I can think of a way to easily prove that it’s false. I mean: we know that there are professional assassins out there. Some of them have to be women, and some of them have to be American. So in a population the size of ours you’d have to expect that we’ve produced at least one American female assassin. So you can concede the existence of one. As to whether she’d date a NASCAR driver… well, OK, yeah, that’d be on my list of plausible possible romantic interests for her: the guy has a pretty exciting, well-paid at his level, and personally dangerous job. If you read it in a book or saw it in a movie, you might think that it was a bit trite, but you’d concede that.

So here’s where it gets interesting… if you concede that such a thing is possible, how exactly do you demonstrate that it’s not actually happening. One person who discussed this story with me privately argued that Kurt Busch is well known for being ‘legitimately insane.’ The problem there is that you’d have to be literally insane to knowingly date a professional assassin, too. See the issue? It’s such a bizarre accusation that it actually turns in on itself. It’s turtles all the way down, man. Turtles all the way down.

So… which NASCAR car drivers don’t want to be associated with the NRA?

Because there’s a crucial bit missing from this report of anti-NRA shenanigans at the Texas Motor Speedway (TMS):

Sources confirmed Friday that two drivers were advised by their public relations directors not to do interviews in the TMS media center so they could avoid having the NRA logo behind them.

…which is to say, Who are they? – Because I’ll tell you this, right off the bat; there’s going to be a bunch of people keeping track of who is not going to be in the TMS media center. And since we’re talking about potential PR problems: let’s just say that being visibly against a basic civil right, not to mention kowtowing to gun-grabbing fanatics, is not something that a NASCAR driver is going to want to have hanging around his* neck in the long term.

More details here: seriously, though, this is a huge demographic FAIL. Which is, of course, why the drivers aren’t giving out their names.

Moe Lane

PS: Almost forgot: Sen. Chris Murphy seems to think that he could actually tell Fox to cancel coverage of the NASCAR race today and Fox would take him seriously. Gotta love epistemic closure, huh?

*Or her.

#rsrh Fun exercise in double-think for our #p2 colleagues!

Come up with a reason for NASCAR racers to turn down a visit to the White House for (supposed) ideological reasons that doesn’t also condemn pop stars who did the same sort of thing during the last administration. Fair warning: Because it’s different when we do it, dammit, while honest enough, will not be judged to be a fair answer.

What’s that? It’s the only answer? Well, yeah, I suppose that would be a problem there, then.

Via @BillSTL.

Moe Lane

PS: Please, netrooters, by all means: scream at the NASCAR racers and call them bad names. Loudly. At the top of your lungs. Until you black out from lack of oxygen.

Much obliged.