I have to admit, this is pretty much my reaction:
As someone with experience in these matters – on both sides of the retail divide – Gabriel simply stays home for Black Friday. And it’s not because he doesn’t like to buy things. We discussed it all in the podcast you may absorb at some future date: he feels that the “deals” are illusory and that he doesn’t especially relish the thought of his heel on a retail worker’s trachea while he pours into the Consumer Battle Arena. He has been that motherfucker in there, the one with the human throat, and even if there is still a pitched melee with or without him he can (at the very least) guarantee one less heel.
I don’t particularly criticize Black Friday on a regular basis, because there are elements of the criticism – and, more importantly, some of the critics – that taste more than a little of class snobbery. But I’ve done holiday retail. Pleasant, it is not.