Short version: The Tome of Bill (by tome of bill, Rick Gualtieri) is about this nerd who becomes a vampire, stays a nerd, can’t keep his fool mouth shut, gets a bunch of Mary Sue-type special abilities, and needs every single damn one of them just to stay alive because he REALLY doesn’t know how to keep his fool mouth shut. The Kindle versions are going for four bucks apiece and they’re well worth the price; the language is unfortunate (says he, piously), but the plot is pretty good, the characters entertaining, and the tone is actually pretty light. I’d try the first one, at least.