Oh, I am *salty* today. (Buy my books!)

A combination of the aches, soreness, and painkillers, I suspect. It would probably be best if I automatically not publish anything more controversial than “I like turtles.” Maybe it’d be more hilarious, but it wouldn’t be best.

Oh, and buy my books. I am totally ready to cheaply milk sympathy at my ouch-ridden state for sales. Always Be Closing…