Jan
23
2018
0

Group Seed: The Great Autonomous Road Show

Great Autonomous Road Show – Google Docs

The Great Autonomous Road Show

 

Note the lack of the term ‘classic cars’ or anything, in there.  It was felt by the sentient cars who make up the Great Autonomous Road Show that even humans would notice if they just came out and lampshaded “HI! WE’RE A FLEET OF RETIRED SENTIENT CARS WHO ARE NOW ON PERMANENT VACATION!” like that in the title.  A little misdirection is usually all that you need with humans, bless ‘em — but no need to push the envelope, there.

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Jan
22
2018
0

Item Seed: The Sixth Cortes Relation Letter.

Sixth Cortes Relation Letter – Google Docs

The Sixth Cortes Relation Letter

 

This document purports to be a letter from Hernan Cortes to Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, dated February of 1538 AD, that summarizes and describes Cortes’s 1536 California expedition.  The letter was discovered in June of 2017 in a Madrid museum annex, as part of a box of documents that had been misfiled somehow after the death of Phillip II of Spain.  Analysis of the paper and ink indicates that the Sixth Letter is from that time period, and nothing about it is inconsistent or anachronistic for the time period.  If the Letter is a hoax, it’s a contemporary hoax.

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Jan
21
2018
2

Creature Seed: Warpex Cats.

So I saw this picture of Tom Baker being delightedly covered in kittens.

Warpex Cats – Google Docs

Warpex Cats

(felis catus gallifreyus, heinleinus, or ultharus)

 

These are all distinct species, although they are derived from the Canadian Foldex cat breed; no Warpex is interfertile with regular domestic house cats (or, indeed, another species of Warpex). All three Warpex species strongly resemble the Foldex, both in appearance and temperament. It can in fact be difficult to distinguish a Warpex from a Foldex, at least until the special abilities of the former manifest.

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Jan
20
2018
1

Item Seed: Mortar Chucks.

Believe me: I’m as appalled as you’re about to be.

Mortar Chucks – Google Docs

 

Mortar Chucks

 

History does not record the name of the genetic mage who first conceived of the idea of converting the common woodchuck into an area-effect, indirect fire weapon.  History would rather like to find out that name, but the mage had apparently (and very wisely) decided to cover his, her, its, or their tracks. While Mortar Chucks are not quite death-penalty level necromancy, it’s hard to imagine how the things could have been designed and tested without drawing on advanced death magic lore — which is to say, necromancy that does rate the death penalty.

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Jan
17
2018
2

Item Seed: Mad Al’s Homemade Tank Guide.

Mad Al’s Homemade Tank Guide – Google Docs

Mad Al’s Homemade Tank Guide

This ‘book’ actually consists of a three-ring binder with about four hundred pages of fairly compact type and severely plain illustrations, separated (via colored cardstock pages) into ten chapters. There is no publishers’ information; and the contact information on the last page gives a PO Box located somewhere in “the Michigan Freedom Zone,” plus a set of CB and shortwave radio frequencies. Mad Al’s Guide gives off that unmistakable aura of being something from the 1980s, based on everything from the font, to the tone, and to the oddly surreal stock illustrations.

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Jan
16
2018
--

Location Seed: Cormorant Lake Station.

Cormorant Lake Station – Google Docs

Cormorant Lake Station

“Gateway to the Hollow Earth”

 

This town doesn’t appear on Google Maps; and when the aboveground portion does show up on the Internet, it’s usually mislabeled as Cormorant Lake Lodge, which is a Manitoban hunting fishing lodge about a mile to the southwest. Cormorant Lake Station definitely exists, though. Aboveground, it’s about twenty or so buildings, including a small hotel, a general store, and an auto repair garage that is far too large for the business it now gets.  The town mostly stretches along the northwest shore of Air Force Bay; the only real way to get there is via lake ferry to the lodge. The locals are polite, friendly, and not particularly prone to secrecy.

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Jan
15
2018
--

Item Seed” Artifact # 20180105-BRA-23-17(b)

Blame this.

Artifact # 20180105-BRA-23-17(b) – Google Docs

Artifact # 20180105-BRA-23-17(b)

 

Description: a coat/overtunic, sized for an adult male between 5’3” and 5’6”.  The coat is made from natural plant fibers found in the Amazon river basin, and is fastened with a single sharpened wooden stick, thrust into on the left side.  The coat is covered with blue, orange, and green feathers, facing downward and woven into the plant fibers.  There is considerable water damage; the coat was taken off of the drowned corpse of a man found floating in a tributary of the Amazon. No identification or other artifacts were found on the corpse, but based on teeth, facial and body features, and general health at time of death he was likely a member of one of Brazil’s uncontacted tribes.

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Jan
15
2018
1

Item seed: The Staff of Memphis.

Staff of Memphis – Google Docs

Staff of Memphis

(The Mesmeric Phrenological Induction Stimulator)

([MEMPHIS])

 

Typically called “The Staff of Memphis,” this fine piece of Victorian pseudo-engineering combines the dubious theories of mesmerism with the dubious practices of phrenology to create a highly dubious, but frustratingly functional, short-range mental dominator.  To use, simply point the Staff of Memphis — ah, the “Mesmeric Phrenological Induction Stimulator” — at the victim, concentrate on the emotion that one wishes to induce, and the gem on the Staff will focus a mesmeric ray that can be trained upon the portion of the brain that governs that emotion.  There’s even a faint green glow as the gem does its work.

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Jan
10
2018
--

Adventure Seed: Operation ENDOSCOPE PARLAY.

Operation ENDOSCOPE PARLAY – Google Docs

Operation ENDOSCOPE PARLAY

 

Good morning. As you are all aware, spell-casting using anagrams was the go-to occult discipline of the Seventeenth Century AD, and continued to retain some nostalgic popularity until the first half of the Nineteenth. Unfortunately, with the rise of modern linguistics the power available to linguistic magic skyrocketed, with typically horrific results.  The dirty war conducted between rival magical circles of semioticists need not be reviewed here: suffice it to say that the extermination of the last holdout Fascist and Soviet deep-penetration doomsday linguistic cults in 1953 was a close-run thing. Sufficiently so that the esoteric world’s subsequent tacit abandonment of Latin was deemed regrettable, but necessary in order to prevent future breakdowns in language, perception, and local space-time.

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Jan
09
2018
--

Item Seed: Ghost Coins

Ghost Coins – Google Docs

Ghost Coins

 

Many kinds of magic withered and died in the 20th Century; Ghost Coins, in contrast, blossomed in power. It’s one of those ‘power in contradiction’ things; it used to be that even when a nation fell apart its coinage would still have some inherent value. After all, a Byzantine gold solidus still had precisely the same amount of gold in it the day after Constantinople finally fell as it did the day before.  But with the rise of paper money and coins made out of non-precious metal, well, once the country was gone then so was the value.

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Jan
07
2018
2

Item Seed: Red Carpet Fragment #17.

Red Carpet Fragment #17 – Google Docs

 

Red Carpet Fragment #17

 

This artifact consists of a woven piece of wool, one foot by two feet, dyed red. Legend and carbon dating both date the Carpet at about BC 1300-1200; further legend indicates that this was a piece of the carpet spread before Agamemnon by Clytemnestra, upon his return to Greece.  There is currently no materialist way to determine the accuracy of that, but metaphysical probes suggest at least a strong symbolic link between the Carpet and that event.

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Jan
06
2018
--

Item Seed: Brane Food.

Brane Food – Google Docs

Brane Food

 

This unsubtle assassination tool is banned in most planes of existence for being remarkably indiscriminate. Brane Food is essentially a magically mutated form of the cashew apple that has been further been manipulated in space-time until it’s just plain wrong. Then it gets steeped in a pool of evil for a week or two.  When it starts to bubble and look for a victim, congratulations; the Brane Food is ready.

 

Brane Food works by being frighteningly appealing to human brains.  Extremely so.  So extremely so that the brain will itself attempt to break through its own skull and ‘attack’ the Brane Food.  This, of course, never actually happens except under the highest of magical background levels; which is good, because the sight of a disembodied brain flopping around with two eyestalks while trying to crawl to its quarry is a sight that most people don’t want in their heads.

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