Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii): did you have carnal relations with that sheep?

“…most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old.”

No, I never thought that I’d have the opportunity to write that out, either.  But apparently this is the world that we live in, now:

Hawaii senator Brian Schatz involved in simulated sheep rape rituals

U.S. Senator Brian Schatz once led a fraternity that got into trouble with the law and animal welfare groups for threatening to sodomize a sheep.

Continue reading Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii): did you have carnal relations with that sheep?

Denver: bronze sheep stolen for their scrap value.

Before you laugh, the two sheep were valued at fifteen grand apiece (admittedly, that’s their value as art): I have no idea how much a life-sized bronze sheep weighs*, but it was apparently enough to make it a criminal target in this marvelous economy that’s been so carefully nurtured by the current administration.  Did you know that there’s been since 2008 a statewide law enforcement program (“Stop Theft of Metal Products,” or STOMP) in Colorado dedicated to handle the specific surge of scrap-metal felonies?  Well, now you do.  And are you wondering why copper and tin are suddenly more expensive?  Well, for copper at least it’s the old story: increased demand + reduced supply (via government regulation of new mines, among other things) = more expensive copper.  And, apparently = more stolen bronze sheep. Continue reading Denver: bronze sheep stolen for their scrap value.