The link to a hysterical Star Trek “What The HELL, Humans?” piece.

And I’m not underselling here, I think. This very well may be the funniest thing that you read all day.  I certainly thought that it was.


So, poll: the new Star Trek. Suck, or not-suck?

I just read a bunch of articles that set off warning bells in my head. Not so much the political stuff – Trek is one of those IPs that gets a lot of mutually-exclusive, broad-spectrum fan love – but because there may be cussin’ and maybe a bare rear or two*. Which is, when you think about it, a rather unusual thing to have happen in that particular series.

This is the point where I would write Not that I’m a prude or anything – but, Hell: maybe I am a prude, when it comes to Star Trek. Which would be kind of funny, really.

Moe Lane

*It all has to do with streaming services, apparently.

Watch me commit heresy over Paramount’s new Star Trek fan film rules.

There’s nothing particularly unusual about them.  To sum them up: there’s a half hour limit on productions, the work has to be studiously non-commercial and amateur (for example: no more cameos from people who were in a previous Star Trek production), stick disclaimers anywhere and keep it clean*.  And, oh, yeah: if you buy Star Trek uniforms or gear for your movie, use the official stuff. Continue reading Watch me commit heresy over Paramount’s new Star Trek fan film rules.

Maybe – MAYBE – JJ Abrams and Justin Lin can get Paramount to back down on Axanar.

Short version? Well, the Star Trek: Axanar fan film folks got hit by a copyright infringement suit by Paramount – and, I will be honest, here: speaking as a backer of the project I wasn’t happy to find out that they didn’t get permission from Paramount first, because you need to get permission for this sort of thing for precisely this reason – and JJ Abrams is now saying that he’s gotten Paramount to maybe back down. Abrams is of course the executive producers, and he’s apparently joined in this with Justin Lin, who directed the latest Star Trek flick (Star Trek: Beyond). If you’re a cynic, you may be of the opinion that Paramount is not so much seeing the light as they are the bottom line. Paramount would rather like Beyond to make lots of money, please.

Still: it would be nice if we can get this Axanar mess resolved. The concept (Garth of Izar and a Klingon-Federation war!) is awesome and we were unlikely to get it otherwise. Plus, it never hurts to remind people that it’s getting easier and easier to make movies.

Via… everybody, really. But I’ll give @emccoy_writer the credit because I saw her Tweet first.

New Star Trek series!

Original continuity, which is fine.  I mean, I’m one of those horrible people who enjoy what Abrams is doing with the movies, but it’s best if those stay one-offs. After all, the Star Trek timeline is complicated enough as it is

According to Birth.Movies.Death, the new as-yet-untitled Star Trek series will first return to the timeline previously rebooted by J.J. Abrams’ film series, but still take place after the original Enterprise crew have made their mark on the galaxy. Set sometime between Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country and The Next Generation TV series (thereby making original cast cameos unlikely), the new series will be “heavily serialized” with a new, non-Enterprise ship.

Via @smorton101368.  The show will be out in 2017, on CBS ‘All-Access streaming,’ whatever that means.  Although I suppose that I could hazard a guess.

Quote of the Day, Tremble In Fear At This Speculation edition.

The leadup will take too long to explain, so just click through, this one time. OK? OK.  So heeeeeere’s the quote:

…With JJ Abrams having helmed both the Star Trek and Star Wars movie franchises, this is the sign that the worst idea for a crossover event ever is in the works and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. It’s the theoretical universe-destroying contact between Redshirts that must always die and Stormtroopers that must always miss. If any of us survive and manage to rebuild our lost civilization, remember to keep the knowledge of where our hubris became too great and brought our works to ruin.

There’s only one reason why this can’t happen.  Disney owns Star Wars. Paramount owns Star Trek. I don’t think that either company is willing to let the other get its dirty mitts on each other’s intellectual property.

Moe Lane

PS: The Federation would kick the Empire’s asses, of course.

So apparently the Axanar project DIDN’T have the rights to do a Star Trek movie..

I have to admit: I assumed that they had the rights to do a Star Trek movie. If I had known that they had not, I probably wouldn’t have kicked in money to fund the project. I only say ‘probably’ because I recognize that there are indeed numerous gentleman’s agreements going on out there between studios and fan groups, and that it may have indeed been reasonable for the Axanar project people to assume that CBS and Paramount would green-light their fan movie project.

But CBS and Paramount have not, and Star Trek is in point of fact their intellectual property. My personal opinion on how those companies should exercise their property rights is thus automatically trumped by the opinion of the companies themselves. And I wouldn’t expect this movie to get made any time soon, either…

Moe Lane

PS: I don’t know if I’m going to try to get my money back. Doing so may require more effort and lifespan than I’m prepared to spend on the effort. But I’m still not happy.

Quote of the Day, …I Am Not Sure How To Process This Star Trek News edition.

Mayyybe something bad; mayyybe something good*.

Reportedly an original draft of the script was a little “too Star Trek-y,” and when [Simon] Pegg and [Doug] Jung took over the goal was to “make a western or a thriller or a heist movie, then populate that with Star Trek characters so it’s more inclusive to an audience that might be a little bit reticent,” according to Pegg.

I mean, I like watching footage of cars crashing into brick walls in slow-motion as much as anybody else does. But can you sustain my interest with that sort of thing for a solid 90 minutes? …I am not convinced that you can.

Moe Lane

*Classical reference.