Jul
15
2016
2

Rogue One featurette waves two middle fingers in George Lucas’s face.

This isn’t the new trailer. This is the behind-the-scenes clip where the director and crew pretty much admits that Lucas taught them to stay as far away from bluescreen as possible. Real explosions! Real people in costumes! Actually moving the things that are supposed to be moving!

THEY ALSO HAVE A BLIND GUY WITH A STAFF WHO KNOWS KUNG FU. THIS IS RELEVANT INFORMATION. I FEEL THAT IT REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN MENTIONED EARLIER.

May
10
2016
1

“Rogue One,” redone in Lego.

Lego obsessives are the best obsessives. I mean, I don’t even mean anything bad by calling them ‘obsessives.’ They produce too much fantastic stuff on a regular basis.

Like, say, this.

I couldn’t do it, so I’m happy that there are people out there who don’t have my limitations in this regard.

May
07
2016
5

So you actually CAN get a DVD where Han. Shot. First.

The 2008 edition of the Star Wars Trilogy (Widescreen Theatrical Edition). It’s the one with Luke and Vader in silhouette fighting on the cover, with lots of blue and IV, V, and VI at the bottom; apparently the other versions of this lack the original theatrical release.  …And it goes for $300 on Amazon, which fascinates me, because I think I only paid sixty bucks or so when I grabbed my copy back in ’08.

Guess that means that I don’t have to wait for Disney to get on the stick with this one after all.  But my sympathies, folks.  It really does make a hell of a lot of difference in Han’s character when it’s established right from the start just what kind of guy he is.

Moe Lane

PS: Needless to say, my children will be taught from this version only… until I think that they’re old enough to handle the horrors that came later.

Apr
15
2016
9

Look, we know damned well that Rey is Obi-wan’s granddaughter.

Stop trying to confuse us, J.J. Abrams. It is absolutely OBVIOUS that Rey is Ben’s granddaughter*; accent, attitude, we desperately need somebody in the Star Wars universe who ISN’T of the Skywalker family to be Force-aware, and so on.  I know that Abrams will readily lie to our faces about details of his movies, but he’s playing a double fake-out, here.

Or I just want Rey to be Ben’s granddaughter.

Moe Lane

*And yes, the irony would be rich, and succulent.

Apr
07
2016
16

And now, DISNEY WANTS YOUR MONEY, so here’s the Star Wars “Rogue One” trailer.

Yeah. Yeah, the Mouse sent out its crack teams of combat demographers to target YOUR cultural faction. They’ve delved deep into parts of your brain and psychology that you’re not even fully aware that you have, found the pressure points that are statistically valid across the entire sample size, and brought that data back. And then they apparently constructed an entire movie around it.

This is exactly what they do to kids. Which is good! Because now they’re pandering to me. I deserve this. Shoot, I have a list if they’d like a little feedback.

Apr
06
2016
1

Movie of the Week/ Honest Trailer: “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.”

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is making its way to me even as we speak, and cannot wait cannot wait cannot wait. In the meantime, check out the Honest Trailer below. Which has spoilers, for anybody who has somehow managed to get this far without either seeing the film, or finding out about the spoilers anyway.

And so, adieu to Guardians of the Galaxy.

Mar
15
2016
1

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!! This could be very *important.*

I just got sent this via email. It may, indeed, change everything. (more…)

Jan
23
2016
1

Hey, that magic CGI bread Rey had in Star Wars?

It wasn’t CGI.

They totally CGI-ed that bread into existence, didn’t they? Wrong, says special effects supervisor Chris Corbould, who spoke with MTV News about what went into making that single moment.

“Surprisingly that was done practically, although so many people have said to me, ’we thought that was a digital effect!’” Corbould said.

Took ’em three months to get those few seconds of footage right, and of course you wouldn’t want to eat the stuff, but: they did that effect the old-fashioned way. That happened a lot in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which is one reason why the movie is a monster.  And not the smallest reason why, either.

Jan
20
2016
23

Quote of the Day, Tremble In Fear At This Speculation edition.

The leadup will take too long to explain, so just click through, this one time. OK? OK.  So heeeeeere’s the quote:

…With JJ Abrams having helmed both the Star Trek and Star Wars movie franchises, this is the sign that the worst idea for a crossover event ever is in the works and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. It’s the theoretical universe-destroying contact between Redshirts that must always die and Stormtroopers that must always miss. If any of us survive and manage to rebuild our lost civilization, remember to keep the knowledge of where our hubris became too great and brought our works to ruin.

There’s only one reason why this can’t happen.  Disney owns Star Wars. Paramount owns Star Trek. I don’t think that either company is willing to let the other get its dirty mitts on each other’s intellectual property.

Moe Lane

PS: The Federation would kick the Empire’s asses, of course.

Jan
14
2016
7

Star Wars: The Force Awakens gets an… appropriate number of Oscar nominations, probably.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens netted five technical Academy Award nominations but missed out on acting nominations and Best Picture. And, can I be honest? …That’s not unfair.  TFA is a popcorn movie.  A good popcorn movie that made up for the failure of the second trilogy of Star Wars films, but it’s not High Art and I don’t mind terribly that the Academy doesn’t see it the way that they saw the Lord of the Rings trilogy*.

John Williams probably has a lock for Best Original Score, though. Because, you know, John Williams.

Moe Lane

*I pretty much think that Return of the King‘s sweep represents the Academy’s tacit decision to wait until the whole thing was out and THEN make it rain for Peter Jackson.

Jan
01
2016
25

Quote of the Day, George Lucas Is Upset That Star Wars No Longer Sucks edition.

This post of mine took longer than you might think to put up: it’s rather difficult to type when you’re only using two middle fingers.

Mr. Lucas appeared particularly unhappy with the direction the “Star Wars” franchise has taken since he sold the rights to it, along with Lucasfilm, his company, to Disney for $4 billion. He compared the sale to a breakup and a divorce.

The kind where one of the parties involved has to put out a restraining order… hey, I AM being measured in my response. Lucas literally called Disney ‘white slavers’ in this interview. As long as I don’t go more over-the-top than he did, I’m golden.

Moe Lane (more…)

Dec
30
2015
14

“Mo-layn, what is good in life?”

“To drop off your children with your family, go for a nice walk, and then see Star Wars again with your wife.”

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