Item Seed: The Caramelizator.

Caramelizator – Google Docs

The Caramelizator

This handy-dandy device caramelizes onions. To operate, simply fill the hopper at the front of the Caramelizator with chopped onions, pull the trigger — well, yes, it has a trigger. Well, sure, that does make it look like a gun. OK, fine, the entire thing looks like a 1950s movie ray gun with a big ball on one end. But the ball is there just to hold the onions. And before you ask: good luck trying to yank that sucker off.

And even if you could get the ball off, what’s the point? The Caramelizator is such a low-power item it runs on batteries. It can’t be plugged into a wall — YOU MUST ABSOLUTELY NOT ADAPT IT TO LET IT BE PLUGGED IT INTO A WALL, LEST IT VIOLATE YOUR WARRANTY — so if you pull off the ball all you’ll have then is a defective, broken Caramelizator. Although the odd blue light that you can now see coming from inside the device might at least prove interesting. And… oddly tanning. Continue reading Item Seed: The Caramelizator.