Oh, boy: they’re rebooting Willy Wonka.

Hey! Maybe they’ll make a kid’s flick this time! “Paul King is trading in marmalade for chocolate bars.  EW can confirm that the Paddington helmer is in final negotiations to direct Willy Wonka, a new take on Roald Dahl’s classic children’s novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” It’s apparently going to be a prequel, because why not? (more…)

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So, GeekTyrant lost its sh*t over the Tom & Jerry Willy Wonka movie.

Rather entertainingly, too.

But the kicker is this… the songs in the trailer are the same as the classic Gene Wilder movie. As far as I can tell, the whole movie looks like it’s just a remake of the Gene Wilder movie but with sh[*]tty CGI game-looking animation and F[*]CKING TOM AND JERRY!


This is like a bad fan-fic someone thought up while hopped up on cough syrup. I hate you. You took something great and ruined it. What’s next? You’ve already screwed over Wizard of OZ, now Wonka. You gonna make Tom and Jerry Jurassic Park? Tom and Jerry Schindlers List? Tom and Jerry CarrieTom and Carrie… Uh-oh, Tom dumps blood on Jerry who goes mad and kills everyone with his telekinetic powers. STOP!

Come on, man. Tell us what you really think.

The aforementioned abomination unto the Lord after the fold. …What?  You’d think that I’d freaking LIKE a Tom & Jerry Willy Wonka movie that looks like they motion-capped the live action and recycled the songs?  Really?  Really? (more…)


Warner Bros. to do a Willy Wonka movie for no discernible reason.

Clearly they decided to wait until Gene Wilder was safely dead before announcing this: “…it looks like Warner Bros. is going to take another shot at telling another story about Mr. Wonka. This time, the studio is teaming with producer David Heyman, whose recent work includes Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The movie will be about an early adventure that Willy Wonka goes on.”  I feel safe in asserting that the CGI will saturate the film, and I am using ‘saturate’ in the physical chemistry sense.

It’s not so much that it’s a remake. Remakes can be tolerable. I actually enjoyed seeing how the Wilder Willy Wonka and the Depp Willy Wonka took two distinct takes on the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, not least because the people who ran both of the productions actually liked the original book, and wanted to make a movie that was evocative of it. And, before you ask: I’m not concerned that Warner Bros. wants to create a new cinematic cash cow.  No, what concerns me is that they’re possibly all right with creating a fairly pointless and generic cash cow. There’s a limited number of movies that the big studios can make every year. If they must try to cash in on my nostalgia, the least that they can do is make the effort to produce something I’d like in spite of myself.

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