Day Three of the pledge drive for an iPad2 for on-the-fly video editing went not quite as well as Day Two; but it went better than Day One, so we’re still on track. We’re on track. Before I go further, first let me make an administrative note to folks who send hate mail. Get on your game, people. I just don’t give out valuable front page mockery-space to every dumb bunny who can string along enough words in English to create a semi-coherent whine. You have to be creatively awful. If you’re not making your mother go to your room and quietly cry in shame for raising you that way, then don’t bother getting suited up and on the courts, ‘kay? To misquote Screwtape, I wouldn’t deign to throw any of Wednesday’s haters to the hellhounds.
Sorry. I need to do this sort of outreach, from time to time.
Anyway, Day Four. Time to do a change-up: we’ve talked about hate, so let’s talk about sadness.
You see this little guy?
You see how brave he’s being? Well, he’s being brave because he knows that there is Good in the world, even when it looks like there isn’t enough to go around. And he knows that the iPad2 is Good, and that me having one to do on-the-fly video editing next year will be Good. In short, this is a kitten that believes in Good; which means that he has to believe in America, too. In his heart, he believes.
Look that kitten in the eyes and break his heart.
Yeah. I didn’t think so.
Moe Lane
And what will happen to the kitten if I don’t give you any money?
He cries. He cries a single, perfect tear that contains within it an universe of crystalline grief. The grief of lost worldsongs.
Meh. Emo kitten is not motivating.
Rob: Yeah, there seems to be some empirical evidence for your position there. 🙂
I thought you were going to go with “imagine how sad you will be when I kill this kitten because I didn’t get X number of donations.”
Too much South Park.
There is a special level of Hell reserved for bloggers who kill kittens as part of pledge drives. It is a very lonely special level of Hell, because you know, there are limits, but it exists.