Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii): did you have carnal relations with that sheep?

“…most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old.”

No, I never thought that I’d have the opportunity to write that out, either. ┬áBut apparently this is the world that we live in, now:

Hawaii senator Brian Schatz involved in simulated sheep rape rituals

U.S. Senator Brian Schatz once led a fraternity that got into trouble with the law and animal welfare groups for threatening to sodomize a sheep.

One of the fraternity brothers involved in the incident claimed at the time that no actual sheep were sodomized in said ritual; and in truth I will be willing enough to accept a denial on Senator Brian Schatz’s (D, Hawaii) part. An explicit denial. As in, While I admit that there was in fact an official investigation along these lines, I have in fact never in my life [expletive deleted]ed a sheep.

And then we can all put this unfortunate incident behind us.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

PS: As near as I can tell: yes, Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii) would have participated in a ritual where he would have had to decide whether joining his fraternity was worth [expletive deleted]ing a sheep.

PPS I’m sorry! This HAPPPENED! I can’t not write about this! I’m only flesh and blood!

PPPS: The subtitle, of course, is a classical reference.

11 thoughts on “Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii): did you have carnal relations with that sheep?”

  1. “Edmund, do you have a woman in there?”
    “No, mother”
    “A man then?”
    “No, no”
    “It isn’t a sheep is it?”
    “Oh Edmund, its the lying that hurts.”

  2. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our ovine party guests – we did. *wink*

  3. Moe, you’re channeling LBJ. You know that, right? Don’t take it any further, and we’ll be fine.

    Don’t make me get the holy water. You remember how that worked out last time.

  4. I agree, I never thought you’d have the opportunity to write that either. My money was on Barney Frank.


  5. Dr. Bernardo: Does it sound mad? That’s what they called me at Masters’ and Johnson’s Clinic, mad! Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. […] I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics.

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