But he’s not bitter!
The Republicans got nothing but rewards for obstructionism. No Contract with America was needed. The 2014 electorate was willing to hire the Republicans like day laborers: Pull up, hop in. No, I don’t need your C.V. You castrate pigs? Great, you got a job.
Well, maybe he’s a little bitter.
PS: I understand that there’s nobody as provincial as a Northeasterner*, as I was one myself**, but let me quickly explain something about castrating pigs. The reason why farmers do it is because if you don’t you end up with pork that smells like, well, the smell that one associates with unwashed testicles. And the only people who know this are people who are familiar with pigs, and how they smell. You know. Farmers.
In other words, Joni Ernst could not have come up with a better way to contrast herself with (no to mention, insult***) people like Bruce Braley if she had tried for a month, which is why she will be the next Senator from Iowa and Bruce Braley is right now trying to figure out which lobbying firm to apply to.
*With the possible exception of… no, wait, I might want to troll for votes from that demographic some day.
**Which means that you’re not allowed to object to me saying that, because if you are, by the rules of the Activist Left you’re the bigot by trying to impose your own chauvinism on my cultural self-awareness. I get to self-define my people and my heritage: you do not. Neener neener****.
***Made more vicious by the fact that the people who were being insulted clearly failed to grasp the depths of the insult. Oh, sure, they understand that they were called pigs; but they missed the implication that they were being called pigs that smelled “like old gym socks or bad human body odor.” But the farmers got it! …And, again, that’s why Joni Ernst is going to be the next Senator from Iowa.
****Yeah, that’s covered, too.