I’m kind of feeling pushed to go see ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ now.

I mean, when I saw the first trailers and the upcoming features I looked at it and I said Stupid.  Then I saw some more and I said Crazy. But now I’m reading these two reviews and I’m thinking Crazy-Stupid:

  • Washington Free Beacon: “Jupiter Ascending is a totally nuts, lavishly costumed, deeply funny, completely campy, ridiculously dense space opera that is, more or less, about evil businessmen trying to destroy the Earth and about love saving it. It is so nuts and lush and weird that there is almost no chance it will find an audience in theaters. It demands repeat viewings. It practically screams Basic Cable Classic.”
  • Filmdrunk: “The movie isn’t really about anything, it’s just this massive ball of baubles and frosting. Which makes it not a very good story, but… not entirely uncompelling either. As bad a movie as it is, it’s also a singular event, a monument to strange and bizarre decisions stacked one on top of another. Jupiter Ascending is the Winchester Mystery House of movies, why shouldn’t they charge admission? Take a friend, point at the stairways to nowhere, gawp at the toilets built upside down.” (H/T: @drgonzo123… well, actually, Dennis Detwiller*)


Stupid you watch on Netflix, if you watch it at all.  Crazy you watch as a rental, or if somebody has it on DVD already. Crazy-Stupid you go see in theaters, albeit matinee. And you go with no expectations of anything except what Phil Foglio calls the Madness Place (note: this line is taken wildly out of context).

Moe Lane

*Yes, THE Dennis Detwiller.

13 thoughts on “I’m kind of feeling pushed to go see ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ now.”

  1. I don’t give money to the mentally ill homeless man, I won’t indirectly be giving money to the mentally ill movie director either.

    1. In all fairness, the writers work for motion picture corporations so their take on businessmen is, shall we say, colored by personal experience.

  3. All we need to know is the studio pushed it back from a Christmas release to February, as if the test-audiences collectively gasped, “oooooohhhh crap.”

        1. Well, the release date says it’s not to the left of the graph .. we can only hope it’s not on the right!
          .
          Mew

  6. I just saw it. Pretty good. Not great. better than Speed Racer, not nearly as good as The Matrix. The visuals are amazing. If anyone ever gives serious thought to a 40k movie, let the Wachowski’s handle it.

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