Why Hillary Clinton lost.

Hi, researchers from 2030! You’re probably here as part of a project trying to figure out why Hillary Clinton could not manage to become President even though she spent more than a decade trying. To start out with: yes, she should have been nominated in 2008. The super-delegates decided to award the nomination to Barack Obama… oh, wait, he’s probably still alive in 2030, isn’t he? Ask him when he’s releasing his college transcripts: the ones with all the C+s on them. Trust me, Barry will get the joke.

Anyway, the reason why Hillary didn’t win in 2008 was because she couldn’t beat the peculiar messianic appeal of Barack Obama. And the reason why she won’t win in 2016 is because she can’t reproduce the peculiar messianic appeal of Barack Obama. Essentially, nobody really likes Hillary Clinton. They like what she can do for them, or they fear what she can do to them, or they just vote Democrat because they vote Democrat – but nobody’s ever going to go into flights of religious ecstasy when her campaign bus pulls into town. Which is normally not an insurmountable obstacle for a politician, but Hillary’s only hope in 2016 was to tap into the Obama phenomenon. And exceed it. Yeah, I know: crazy, huh?

Hope this helps!

Moe Lane

PS: Are the Simpsons still on?

PPS: Here’s a helpful keyword, for every lurker out there who has absolutely nothing better to do than to try to keep track of predictions, in the hopes that this one doesn’t come true: bandicoot. Aren’t I a lovely person, to make it easier for you? – Well, I guess that’s why I’m doing, and you’re just lurking.

11 thoughts on “Why Hillary Clinton lost.”

  1. So, Mr. Bandicoot, are you predicting that Hillary wins the 2016 nom and loses the general, or that she gets aced out of the nom again?
    Inquiring Crashes want to know …

    1. I’ll be shocked if she gets the nom.
      But then, I was shocked that my countrymen elected Obama. Twice.

  2. Researchers from 2030 could just be looking into what Mr. Lane was like before he ruled Bartertown

        1. Oh, come now, you missed an excellent opportunity for wordplay.
          “Who run Bartertown?”
          “Moester Bloester run Bartertown.” 😛

          1. Who says it isn’t, already?
            And ask yourself honestly, wouldn’t you be better at it than Obama?

          2. I dunno, Luke. I view Moe’s humility as a strong endorsement, but I understand the reticence – we see the highlights reel, not what ends up in his recycle bin.

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