Background: she and her boyfriend solemnly swore that they would not get married until same-sex marriage became the law of the land. Lo and behold! – It did. And then Lena brushed up against the Great Revelation: when she said something like that, she meant This is the excuse that I’m using for not getting married right away. And when he said that, he meant This is the excuse that I’m using for not getting married at all.
Not that Lena Dunham has actually had this revelation yet: that’s going to wait for another five years. You see, first her boyfriend will dump her in about two years or so. After that, it’ll take another three years for the guy to find a younger girl with perkier breasts, a firmer backside, and more of a waist to marry. And then the guy will – inexplicably! – send her a notification of the happy event. Because they were ‘still friends.’
At this point Lena should probably call up this video.
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It), Beyonce
Won’t help her, but maybe she can warn the younger generation to think more about their long-term matrimonial/reproductive strategy.
I’ll probably be called catty, but stupid is as stupid does.
No looks, no brain, the morals of a child molester, the personality of a rattlesnake — please explain what this female has going for her?
Yeah, there’s the money. But it isn’t the most important thing.
You got a fur coat? You got incurable curiosity? You got the best life insurance available? (9 lives…)
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Yeah, you’re not catty.
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Dunham makes money by appealing to two audiences .. college girls who are, like her, too stupid to realize she’s completely wrong, and their boyfriends who like a little low-grade T&A without getting accused of watching porn.
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Unless she’s a *lot* smarter than she appears (her, not her character) she’s gonna have a miserable 30s.
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Mew
Probably be best for the rest of us if she doesn’t reproduce, frankly.
no, no, no, no….
No way this guy goes 2 more years. 6 months, TOPS.
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Rock star* so I expect he’ll be trading her in for a model**
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* for given values of rock star
** note: not a “newer model” an actual runway model***
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***I shoulda learned to play the guitar****
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****classical reference
Chicks for free.
Don’t even have to be a rock star to do that.
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”
Wow, yeah. Just for future reference, this is a huge red flag, with blaring ah-ooogah! klaxons on it:
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> A wedding was, I imagined […] a chance to be the star of your own show.
What I see in her future? “Sunset Boulevard” without the ‘close-up’ and a lot more cats.
On the Crazy Scale of 1-10 right now I give her 4 Cats. This will change.
*glares*
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Mew
Note: To any young women reading this.
If he says he won’t marry you until “X” occurs that means he won’t marry you and wants you only for…you know…that. Because you are there, and because you will listen to that line of horse-hockey as you give him…that.
(N.B. in old fiction he would be known as a ‘seducer’ so you ought to read that stuff because you are as exactly as smart as the generations who preceded you. Not smarter – as smart.)
I think “as smart” is a stretch.
Ability to think has not moved much throughout the course of human evolution.
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Ability to understand reality has declined, in part because y’all insist on lying to your children…
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Mew
A quick reminder: before Lena Dunham, her boyfriend went out with Scarlett Johansen. Either he’ll never find someone hotter than Lena, or he’ll take a LOT less than a few years to do it.
WTF! You go from Johanssen to Dunham, you’re failing at life.
Geez, Moe. Next time, could you warn a fella when you link directly to something written by That Harpy? I didn’t have a lot of extra money set aside this month for Brillo Pads.