Blame this.
Aqualions
If you are asking yourself “Why would anybody mutate a lion by giving it gills and making it amphibious?,” congratulations! You’re not a Mad Scientist. Mad Scientists never ask themselves questions like that. They’re often not self-aware enough to ask themselves “Why wouldn’t people mutate lions?” Mutagens are there to be used. Of course.
Of course.
In this particular case, Aqualions were the brainchild of Captain Sir Humphrey Walsingham-Reynolds, RNR, RCS, KCB, etc. etc. etc. According to his scattered, decaying, and somewhat gnawed notes the idea was to create a mascot for British ships of the line: Sir Humphrey was apparently quite upset that ‘sea lions’ did not even remotely live up to his mental images of them as a boy, and felt that the Empire needed something with a bit more puissance behind it. So he went and created lions that could breathe water as well as air (they needed the air in order to roar, of course). And could swim effectively underwater. And then he increased them in size to about one ton each and made them more aggressive, because why not?
Actually, Aqualions are more of a problem than you might think: they’re essentially great white sharks with claws. Their fur is extremely short – except for the mane, of course – but not typically bedraggled; it’s also surprisingly resistant to slashing or piercing attacks. Worse, they’re smarter than sharks – but not as smart as orcas, who are generally smart enough not to bother humans. The only reason why the oceans aren’t teeming with the creatures is because they breed like mammals, not fish; and male aqualions are just as prone to kill and eat a rival’s offspring as their land counterparts are. Also, their current habitat is limited to the area around the isolated Scottish sea-lair where they were first spawned.
Guess where the Royal Navy set up a base? Training frogmen, no less. Once the local Aqualions discover this there’s going to be some ugly confrontations – and, worse, a bunch of military types are going to end up wanting to take a look at Captain Sir Humphrey’s notes. After all: if a Victorian researcher could give lions gills, surely a 21st century genehacker could give ‘em hands instead of paws. That’d be useful, right?
…What, you thought that Mad Science was something that only happened to other people, far away and a long time ago?
And you too can write Syfy movie scripts! /snark
Don’t think I would pass that gig up, if they offered it. The amount of money I’d get for the amount of effort I’d need to put into it would be very lopsided in my favor.
Heh. Of course, a group of college kids have to be there on vacation, the aqualions kill some of the kids and soldiers, and the two groups have to work together to make it out alive. In doing so, the hot college chick and rugged military guy discover feelings for each other, and a newfound respect as well!
Don’t forget the D-list celebrity cameos.
I’d pay to see this movie. Not much, but I’d pay.
Who would turn down that gig?
Believe it or not, there are people out there who think that it’s somehow beneath them to write for money. Despite the fact that it’s, you know, money. And no, I don’t get why they think that, either.
I know people like this. Some how it’s more “authentic” to be a struggling artiste who refuses to sell out(I.e. get a useful job.)
.
Naturally, I am also expected to feel sympathy for his self-imposed state of poverty.
Oh, I have a certain understanding of their situation, if not sympathy for it. After all: once the kids are old enough to not need me being home all day, I’m going to have to go get a job somewhere.