:record scratch: :spit-take: :slo-mo “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…”:

DO NOT WANT.

Bryan Cogman is trading one iconic fantasy world for another.

Cogman, who most recently worked as a writer and co-executive producer on “Game of Thrones,” has signed on to consult on the upcoming “Lord of the Rings” series at AmazonVariety has learned from sources. He will work alongside the writing team of JD Payne and Patrick McKay, who were announced to be developing the series for Amazon back in July.

Amazon declined to comment.

Via ComingSoon.

Gee, why am I not surprised that Amazon didn’t say anything?

Full disclosure: I’m a Lord of the Rings nerd who skipped Game of Thrones more or less completely. So it is not just as a snob* that I say this: Tolkien’s work has a different aesthetic than Martin’s — a much better one — and so any attempt to port over the latter to the former will fail, miserably. Aside from everything else: everybody in Tolkien’s world knows damned well the difference between Good and Evil, and acts accordingly. I’m unconvinced that anybody steeped in Westeros’s backstory will be able to write that properly.

Moe Lane

PS: I was being nice.

*Specifically: a rampaging, unrepentant snob.

14 thoughts on “:record scratch: :spit-take: :slo-mo “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…”:”

  1. I fear we’re going to get a “gritty reboot” of Middle Earth.
    .
    If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got pitchforks to sharpen.
    .
    Mew

    1. I’m aghast.
      .
      Because filth, relativism, nihilism, gratuitous sex, and torture aren’t even tangentially related to the LotR narrative.

  2. I have thus far avoided Mr. Martin’s catalog, so I only know what I’ve heard from others, which has been pretty successful at warding me off from it (usually despite their intentions).
    .
    I had sort of planned on skipping this series, to be honest. Pulling in staff from HBO’s Game of Thrones adaptation doesn’t change my mind to Amazon’s benefit.

  3. Now, was this decided before the last few episodes of Game of Thrones made all the Game of Thrones fans angry?

    I have never seen an episode of Game of Thrones. However, I am willing to give this person a chance because at the very worst I can just turn the show off.

  4. These writers didn’t exactly finish with Martin’s aesthetic intact. The best analysis I’ve seen is that it fell apart when writers used to narrative structure to continue what amounted to a History-by-stream-of-consciousness. Maybe they fell so out of place there because their style will fit better for LotR. I’ll nervously withhold judgement until I see the work.
    .
    At least here they don’t have to finish the author’s story for him.

  5. *shrug*

    LOTR has survived bad performances in the past. Now that the New Zealand version has been done I can even forgive most of them and accept the amusement value that was present in “Where’s a Whip There’s a Way!” without raising my blood pressure more than two degrees. ^_^

    1. FYI, the USMC frowns on using that song as a marching cadence.
      (Sink the Bismarck doesn’t go over much better. Monty Python in particular has a wide range that are perfect in meter and which make L.I.F.E.R.s apoplectic–with pride of place going to Sit On My Face. Especially when sung going past the female barracks.)
      .
      I… Might have been a bit cheerfully and unapologetically subversive of discipline.

      1. Heh. I can imagine! ^_^

        But what was their problem with “Sink the Bismarck”? That the heroes were Navy, that the heroes were British, that they didn’t like Johnny Horton songs or something else? o_O

  6. You aren’t a snob if you’re RIGHT.

    Obnoxious perhaps (although that’s a matter of style…), but not a snob.

  7. They’re doing this *and* one of the next Star Wars movies? Great. I read some GoT books and watched none, so all I know is second-hand. However, it seems like they lost the plot late in the game from what the big fans are saying.

  8. When they say “Lord of the Rings” series, are they talking about the Silmarillion series? Because there are one or two stories in that where a GoT approach might *almost* be appropriate.

    The Children of Hurin comes to mind…

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