Special thanks to my wife, who told me what the major problem with the piece was (I was trying to rhyme ‘gone’ and ‘won’), and Penny Arcade racing Discord member FreemFTW, who told me how to fix it (replace ‘gone’ with ‘done’). It’s not final draft form, but you can see it from here.
The Penny Arcade-inspired e-racing Sea Shanty.
(Note: bolded part is to be sung in best approximation of Yoda)
Riding the wall, boys,
We’re riding the wall:
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
Don’t go to the left, boys,
You’ll splutter and stall:
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
The racing is heavy,
The cars are all fast:
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
They roar and pass quickly
To put us in last.
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
Riding the wall, boys,
We’re riding the wall:
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
Don’t bother with pit stops
E’en for nature’s call!
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
The track is degrading,
It’s mar-zee-ah-pan:
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
When racers start spinning
It’s part of our plan:
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
Riding the wall, boys,
We’re riding the wall:
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
The black flag is waving
While more race cars fall:
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
As the wreckage and tires
Rain down from the sky
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
Win this race we will
Since there is no ‘try’:
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
Riding the wall, boys,
We’re riding the wall
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
As sad misfortune
The others befall:
Don’t you change lanes
Until you have won.
The checkered flag beckons
To end this fierce clash.
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
This strategy’s working,
The last lap we ….CRASH.
See the crowd cheer
As we e-clipse the sun.
Tumble and fall, boys,
We tumble and fall:
WHAM! BAM! Another car’s done!
As things stop their spinning
My crew chief did call:
“Why did-n’t you change lanes?
You might’ve then won!”