04/20/21 Snippet, MEATBAGS.

I swear, this is my favorite character to write dialog for.

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So, there I was, in a mixed squad — I’ll say this; meatbags are even harder to kill than cockroaches sometimes. There was me and Smart Yuri and Brave Little Toaster and Chikako and Botlicker and Joe Buckley, and we all agreed on one thing: Spica 7 completely sucked. Didn’t know either the people or the meatbags, except for the Toaster, but after a couple of days it didn’t matter. The amount of mud gumming up my joints, I didn’t know me, either.

And what happened there… look, the squad of giant Horde mecha-chewers bursting up through the ground wasn’t anybody’s fault, OK? We were all so busy watching the skies and the goopy horizon that we forgot about the ground. We should have been listening, sure; but I’m not a meatbag, I don’t know how to listen through mud. You meatbags are the ones with mud growing in your ears.

No, wait, you meatbags have this goop called ‘wax.’ Which you then used to smear together around a piece of string and burn the whole thing, right? For light. Because you can’t handle even a little electricity.

So they got tactical surprise. We didn’t know anything was wrong until the first mecha-chewer burst out of the mud and just misted Buckley. I looked at the Horde’s tac-records later, and they weren’t even trying to get any of the meatbags in the breakout. It was a million-to-one chance Buckley was there in just the wrong place, and at least it was quick, right?