Not much done today on this project. I’m okay with that. The story’s going well.
But speaking of smells, there was one here I’d never smelt before — but before I could focus on it the detective intercepted me before I could go mucking about in the water. Bradner looked better than he had sounded; when we shook hands his left arm had only a twinge of lingering stiffness in it, and I couldn’t smell any bandages or medicines. He did look a little frazzled, but I wasn’t sure if that was normal for him.
I gave him points for neither freaking out at having to shake hands with a werewolf, nor lingering over the physical contact (he wasn’t too bad on the eyes; but judging from his wedding ring, somebody else had noticed that already). “Thanks for coming by on short notice, Ms. Simon—”
“Please, Detective Bradner,” I interrupted. “Kim is fine.”
That got me a smile. “All right. Kim, then. But thanks. I know this is your day off.”
“It’s a three minute walk for me, Detective,” I replied. “And my superiors have already cleared me to help you.” Which was weird. “So, what’s going on?”
“but before I could focus on it the detective intercepted me before I could go mucking about in the water” there’s a bit of dissonance here. Either Kim was about to focus on the smell (presumably to gain further information) or she was about to go mucking about in the water. You shouldn’t have two “before” clauses.