The ‘Can’t They All Lose?’ BURIAL trailer.

I mean, I don’t mind if Charlotte Vega’s character survives, because she’s sympathetic-looking and has a sniper rifle. But pretty much everyone else in BURIAL can get offed without me getting too upset:

I mean, you got your Nazis holdouts, and they can all die, obviously. Then you got your Commie Russians, who’ve just raped their way across Eastern Europe (hey, what were the ostensible heroes of this flick doing during the Warsaw Uprising, aside from сидят на другом берегу реки с большими пальцами в задницах?), and now they’ve gotta drive home, going past all of their victims along the way. And why? So that they can deliver the corpse of Adolf Hitler to Josef Stalin, and God knows just what Freak #2 would have done with Freak #1’s cadaver*. I mean, why should I care if they do or not?

That being said: if this is an actual supernatural horror film instead of psychological horror — you know, like real werewolves and Hitler’s zombified body rising to feast upon the living… well, the Soviets are screwed anyway. Guess they should’ve kept a few Orthodox icons around, huh? You know. Just in case.

Moe Lane

*Hopefully, what Stalin did in real life was have enough thermite thrown into Hitler’s crate to do the job properly. Get rid of the corpse so thoroughly nobody’s ever gonna be able to reconstruct it. That’s the smart play.

One thought on “The ‘Can’t They All Lose?’ BURIAL trailer.”

  1. He’d naturally absorb the supernatural charisma of Freak#1 to add to his own (some of which was already absorbed from Lenin).
    But the combined power would be so badly tainted with a paranoia, that Kruschev would never attempt to harness it. Instead, he interred it with Mother Damp Earth at the foundation of the Kremlin, and gave the power to the heart of the Rodina. (That it added to the oppressive air within the Kremlin was an unintended side effect.)

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