bad movies – Moe Lane

Slow night, so nomenclature post (bad movies edition).

There should be a name for bad films that are unworthy of their cast. The movie that I’m thinking of in particular is Toys – which was remarkably awful, given that it had Robin Williams, Joan Cusack, Robin Wright(!), LL Cool J, and Michael Gambon in it. Or maybe the Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Band movie, which is insanely awful, only you can mercifully distract yourself by seeing all the musical talent that wanders in and out of the film. Sometimes at random*.

Anyway, there should be a word for this. Assuming that there isn’t already.

Moe Lane

*I’m sure that I’ve said this before, but… me as a kid, seeing the Evil Band: “AUUGH! Evil Band!” Me as an adult, seeing the Evil Band: “Aerosmith! Cool! ” …Says something, really.

#rsrh “Shall we go after the maker of bad films?” (A Storify story)

Thought that I’d try out the website. Here you go: Continue reading #rsrh “Shall we go after the maker of bad films?” (A Storify story)

Kick-Ass, the movie.

I haven’t read the comic (it looks very… Mark Millar, though), but the trailer looks interesting:

Another trailer here, with too much in the way of rough language and ultraviolence to be really suitable for direct embedding on this refined, even prudish, site.

Moe Lane

PS: Yeah, I’m probably going to go see it.

Cautionary rules.

A friend of mine is putting together a project, and asked me for some input thereof. Here’s four of the first things that I came up with. Note: it would have been five, except that I got distracted by The Biology of B-Movie Monsters, which is an article made of awesome.

If my research requires me to understand rage before I can eliminate it, I will not infect chimpanzees with a virulently contagious virus that causes uncontrollable, murderous behavior just to have a reliable sample of same. Just being five minutes late with the little bastards’ bananas does it every time. (28 Days Later)
Rabbits have been domesticated for thousands of years. In all that time, nobody has thought to increase their size to that of a Buick. There is a reason for this. (Night of the Lepus)*
If I desire the services of an illiterate, odd-looking servant with strange religious views, instead of constructing one out of a wolf I will simply go to Whitechapel and hire a human. He’ll be happy to trade regular meals and almost clean underwear for keeping the house clean and promising not to eat the cook.(**)
When recreating dinosaur species from their DNA in order to create a theme park, remember this simple safety tip: no carnivores. (Jurassic Park)

Kind of fun to come up with, really.

Moe Lane Continue reading Cautionary rules.