Please remember: this is not a happy monkey.
This is a monkey that is debating whether or n0t to savagely bite you. Generally speaking, the answer defaults to ‘yes.’ Monkeys are not particularly introspective when it comes to biting things.
This is a happy monkey:
…you can tell that by the details that teeth are not visible; and the hand is full of a stolen camera, instead of, say, monkey feces. Continue reading Today’s Happy Monkey Public Service Announcement.
Speaking of Iowahawk, he is why I may now salute Jeff Bobo of Timesnews.net, who has brightened my day by writing the perfect intro to a news article.
The Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office is well trained and experienced in a variety of meth lab scenarios, but they entered uncharted waters Friday afternoon with the added element of four live monkeys.
Tell me that you don’t want to read the whole thing, now. Go ahead. Make me believe you.
PS: No, you probably shouldn’t have hoped for more monkey-related carnage. First, because that’s not very nice; second… dude. You expect a lot from monkey minions mentored by a man who makes meth.
…and I can’t decide if the change represents a surrender by Dodge to PETA, or whether it’s an exhibition of the Hawaiian good-luck symbol by the former towards the latter. Either way, I like the second better on style points, for a given value of “style.”
Although this comes to us via Lowering the Bar, which summarized as follows:
According to the report, which unsurprisingly involves Florida, Eli the chimp was in a Sarasota courtroom today because he is, yes, at the center of a custody battle between a man from Missouri who says Eli was born on his chimp farm and a Sarasota woman who claims he is really from California. (In other news, there is apparently a chimp farm somewhere in Missouri.) Today’s hearing reportedly had to do with a DNA test that may settle the question.
If you’re pressed for time, the LtB post is better than the original news article.
PS: ‘Chimp farm?’ That the sort of business venture that can end… poorly.