…Actually, yes, I’m going to see a LOT of movies this year.

I’m surprised at the length of this list. In rough order:

  • Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. I may even buy Scott Lang’s upcoming memoir, just for the fun of it.
  • Shazam! Fury of the Gods. Easy pick: the first one was a lot of fun.
  • John Wick IV. Likewise an easy pick.
  • Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. Birthday weekend! Me and the wife are going to make a date night of it.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Look, I go see MCU movies, okay?
  • The Covenant. I will see this. I will walk out of the movie infuriated to the point of snarling, but I will still see this.
  • Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. I figure this is gonna be a family affair.
  • The Flash. Conditional: Ezra Miller is odious, but may also be properly medicated, now. Besides, rumor is that the movie’s actually good.
  • Indiana Jones IV. Conditional: I won’t decide until I hear the early buzz on this. It does seem like elder abuse, though.
  • Oppenheimer. Conditional, leaning to see: I watch at least one non-genre movie a year. It might as well be this one.
  • The Marvels. Look, I go see MCU movies, okay?
  • Barbie. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I’m still going to see this unless the advance word is that it bombed.
  • Blue Beetle. It’s a DC Comics film. I was a DC Comics kid.
  • Kraven the Hunter. It won’t be the cool Kraven, but life is like that.
  • Dune: Part 2. Oh Hell yes.
  • Wonka. Conditional, leaning towards maybe not: it needs to impress.
  • Whatever the new Ghostbusters is. I’m down.
  • Rebel Moon. This one’s a Netflix special, though.
  • Aquaman 2. Looking forward to it.

I mean… that’s a list, isn’t it?

UPDATE: Good God, how could I forget Cocaine Bear?

#commissionearned

“I wish they’d make something DIFFERENT.” :monkey paw’s finger curls:

Well. It’s certainly different.

Continue reading “I wish they’d make something DIFFERENT.” :monkey paw’s finger curls:

So, movies for May.

Definitely the new DR. STRANGE, and I’m giving real thought to FIRESTARTER*. I’m skipping THE NORTHMAN because it’s not my medieval time period and my wife (it’s much closer to her medieval time period) doesn’t seem interested in it. Any other suggestions for flicks I should catch? I’m open to suggestions.

*I want a movie as 1970s-style paranoid as the original book – and, yes, it was published in 1980. That just means it was written in the 1970s. And, my droogies, but that’s crystal clear. …Again, this is fine – but I want a movie that taps into the Seventies’ paranoia vein, not the 2020s’. The modern stuff just isn’t as good.

#commissionearned

God, I can’t wait for a full return to theaters.

It used to be easy: a movie goes direct to VOD, it’s probably bad. Easy, simple, no need to try and puzzle anything out from the trailer. But now we have this hybrid model, and it completely screws up my radar. For example: is ECCO going to be bad, or not?

…Okay, yeah, probably. GeekTyrant doesn’t like the look of it, and that site is even more amenable about popcorn movies than I am. But there’s still a chance that the distribution method of choice isn’t an automatic harbinger of fail. May the day soon come when it is.

THE TRENCH gets killed with a trident*.

I was looking forward to THE TRENCH, too. This is too bad: “”As part of our DC slate, some legacy development titles including New Gods and The Trench will not be moving forward,” Warner Bros. and DC said in a statement. “We thank our partners Ava DuVernay, Tom King, James Wan and Peter Safran for their time and collaboration during this process and look forward to our continued partnership with them on other DC stories. The projects will remain in their skillful hands if they were to move forward in the future.””

Continue reading THE TRENCH gets killed with a trident*.

The MULAN (2020) Honest Trailer.

In some ways, this Honest Trailer for the new MULAN is more cutting than something I would have written. I’m just so plain pissed off about this flick that I would have spent the time yelling about slave factory camps, and said nothing about everything else that’s apparently wrong with this film. Honest Trailers was more comprehensive in its dissection.

The ‘The Streaming Services Have Won’ UPLOAD trailer.

As I noted earlier: the movie studios are beginning the evitable shift to sidestepping actual theatrical releases and just releasing them digitally*. So you might as well keep track of what coming on streaming services, because they’re gonna be the ones pumping out the content until the studios figure out actually how to release stuff digitally as their default option. although admittedly UPLOAD does look interesting:

Continue reading The ‘The Streaming Services Have Won’ UPLOAD trailer.

So I’m putting together a movie list for the next few months.

So far, these are the definite ones:

  • Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (5/5)
  • King Arthur (5/12)
  • Wonder Woman (6/2)
  • The Mummy (6/9)
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming (7/7)
  • Dunkirk (7/21)
  • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (7/21)

Continue reading So I’m putting together a movie list for the next few months.