The Suspenders of Shame have arrived in the mail.

I’m calling them that mostly because it makes my wife wince; it will come as no surprise to most of you that I am not a six-foot athlete built on the Apollo Greek god model.  I am, in fact, more or less a hobbit.  Got gut, not butt; so a belt just ain’t cutting it anymore.

So I look all of this up, and lo! – There is an entire subculture of men just like me.  If we were more trendy, we’d have activists and causes and candle vigils for our plight.  As it stands, though, we get: buy some suspenders and/or shirt stays.  …So it goes, so it goes.

Moe Lane

PS: I will be merciful, and omit pictures.