I dunno why, either. Might be interesting to just hand this one to a bunch of players and see what they do with it. You can get some interesting campaigns that way, at least.
the-baptismal-surveyor-google-docs
The Baptismal Surveyor
That’s what it says, right on the box. Yes, it comes in a box. The contraption itself is firmly in the “wood-bronze steampunk aesthetic:” all polished gold-browns and dark woods, rivets, a basic shape that evokes a bulky tazer without being so crass as to really resemble one, vacuum tubes and needle-dials… and a blunt-tipped probe that extends, gently, when you pull the trigger. If the probe touches a person’s bare skin, a mechanical readout on the top of the Surveyor will gently spin to one of the following entries: