Provided as a public service announcement: you see, every so often somebody decides that it’s smart to take a slap at the United States of America.

Spoiler warning: it’s not.


Not that I expect this to persuade any would-be attackers, but this way I don’t feel guilty when they abruptly get turned into a grease stain on the ground later.  They were warned, after all.

Moe Lane

Full Speech:

Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:

Yesterday, December 7th, 1941 — a date which will live in infamy — the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific.

Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday, the Japanese government also launched an attack against Malaya.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked Guam.

Last night, Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.

Last night, the Japanese attacked Wake Island.

And this morning, the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As commander in chief of the Army and Navy, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.

No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph — so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire.


  • Brian Swisher says:

    One of my dad’s high school friends is still aboard the Arizona

    • prayerborne says:

      My dad’s dad was a battleship sailor before the war. He knew quite a few guys who died that day, including one for whom my dad is named (me, too, since I’m a Jr).
      Grandpa Prayerborne went down to the Navy recruiter’s on December 8th to get back in so he could go get fight Japanese in the Pacific. The US government being just as sensible then, in some ways, as it is now, they put him in the Army and sent him to Africa to fight Germans.

      • Brian Swisher says:

        My dad also went to the Navy recruiters on December 8th…as he told it, he was back on the street five minutes after they said, “Take off your glasses and read the chart”…
        Then the Army drafted him and put him on a boat…and the glasses got just as wet as they would have if he’d been in the Navy…

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Site by Neil Stevens | Theme by