You know who hates life right now? Whoever it is that will be coming in third for whatever home decoration contest is going on, there. The folks coming in second? Oh, they’re OK. They can still get people going Well, you did do a great job! We liked this, this, and this. But… look, if you’re going to lose a contest then you want to lose to something like that. Which is absolutely true, of course. But if you’re in third place for this kind of contest, shoot, you’ll be lucky if people remember that you were competing.
https://twitter.com/KevinHearne/status/916810163297964033
I’m just imagining the the proper disposal method for that Chinese dragon pumpkin arrangement… Chinese fireworks placed in each pumpkin.