A short parody, in honor of the Black Tide Rising series.

If you do not understand it, then I recommend that… you purchase the Black Tide Rising series (just save yourself some time, and get the whole thing in one go), and read it through. You’ll figure it out right quick afterward.

Oh, yeah, right. Spoilers.

WE ARRRRRRE THE ZOMMMMMBIES who don’t do anything
We just hide in nests, and sneak around;
And if you tell us to do anything
We’ll just grunt, cuz… we don’t do anything.

Well, it’s just too cold in Greenland, and air’s too thin in Denver
And I’ve never gnawed on bodies in St. Louie or St. Paul:
And I’ve never froze in Moscow and I stay away from Tampa
Though I always shamble southward in the fall.

Cause we’re the zombies who don’t do anything
We just hide in nests and sneak around;
And if you tell us to do anything
We’ll just grunt, cuz… we don’t do anything.

Well, I’ve never been an alpha, and I’ve never cared for scrumming
And I’ve never fought the Marines ’cause I never fight at all:
And I’ve never swarmed a cruise ship and I stay away from parrots
Though I always shamble southward in the fall.

Cause we’re the zombies who don’t do anything
We just hide in nests and sneak around;
And if you tell us to do anything
We’ll just grunt, cuz… we don’t do anything.

Well, I never put my socks on and I’m not too good at talking
So they keep me pretty busy at the skills I still recall;
But they’re not allowed to ‘kiss’ me, and they cured me of my head lice,
And I’ll never shamble southward in the fall.

Moe Lane

PS: If trying to figure out this melody is driving you crazy…