I was predisposed to disapprove, but…
The premise of Dracula Untold is “What if Dracula was just a really good dad, you guys?” and that is more than enough premise for me. I am a very simple woman, and always have been, ever since I was a very simple child. I like movies set in vaguely medieval castle-towns. I like movies about guys who all they want to do is go back to their farms and wives a la Cincinnatus but dammit the world just won’t let them. I like movies about guys who impale a lot of people on pikes, and then there’s fog, and I like movies where enemies have to have a lot of meetings in each other’s war tents while drinking coffee and acting civilized, and Dracula Untold delivered. If you think that you are too good for a movie where a man turns into very many bats and then punches a lot of guys with his giant bat-fists, then I don’t know what you’re doing on this website or in my life. You’re not too good for it, I can assure you.
…there is a certain force to Mallory Ortberg’s arguments. Because I really and truly am not too good for this kind of movie. I shouldn’t even try to pretend otherwise.
Via
“‘What if Dracula was just a really good dad, you guys?’ and that is more than enough premise for me.” http://t.co/NV30ZdeCTE via @mallelis
— Pelgrane Press Ltd (@PelgranePress) October 15, 2014