A molten metal squirt gun.

Nah, I can’t imagine how a molten metal squirt gun could go badly at all.

And, of course, that man is either unmarried, or else has the most patient wife in Western civilization. I’m pretty sure that mine would have words to say about me spraying molten pewter all over the back yard.  Mind you, the first thing would be “How did you survive melting the pewter in the first place, dear?”…