I’d like to show up late to my own, actually.

In fact, I’d like to just be able to show up under my own power, and not hungry for brains:

A 59-year-old Brazilian man has surprised his family by turning up at his own funeral, local media report.

Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, a bricklayer, had identified him as the victim of a car crash in southern Parana state the previous day.


It emerged that Mr Goncalves had spent the night drinking a rum-like liquor called “pinga” with his friends.

‘Rum-like.’ Amazing how much information you can back into two syllables and eight characters, isn’t it? It’s like I know everything about that evening, now. There are vistas of strange and terrifying truths lurking behind the deceptively-innocent phrase ‘rum-like;’ and about the only thing that you can say about a drink named ‘pinga’ is that at least it’s not Australian booze.


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